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Failure to Thrive
I need some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 759514" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>Hi Zopdrop!</p><p></p><p>Welcome to the forum. You will find tons of support here. And we truly have been in your shoes so we truly understand.</p><p></p><p>Your son probably is sensitive and smart. He just has to get to the point where he wants a better life and then he will start to make changes. The wait until they want a better life can be very long. Just when we think they hit bottom and will change, they go back to old ways. </p><p></p><p>At this point, you have to weight what will be best for yourself with the impact of any help you give him. At his age, he really needs to learn how the world actually works. The world won't make his life easy just because he is sensitive. He is now an adult and he needs to figure life out for himself. Doing things for him actually isn't usually helping. He needs to do things for himself to prove to himself that he can actually handle life. When he calls, tell him that you have faith he will figure things out. What things? Whatever is bothering him. </p><p></p><p>Keep him out of your home. He has shown you who he is. Believe him. He is a very angry person who lashes out when he gets mad. You deserve better. Far better. </p><p></p><p>One thing that many parents find helpful is to make a list of short responses to use while on the phone with him. Things like "I have faith you will figure it out." and "Hmmmm. That is interesting." and "I need to go now. Have a good day." It sounds odd to practice things like this, but do it anyway. I find the car is a great time to practice stuff like this. This way, the responses will be automatic and you won't accidentally agree to something you don't want to do. One great phrase when you don't want to do something is "I don't think I would enjoy that." and make that statement the end of the discussion of the topic. Just change the subject or flat out say "That subject is over. Let's talk about . . . "</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 759514, member: 1233"] Hi Zopdrop! Welcome to the forum. You will find tons of support here. And we truly have been in your shoes so we truly understand. Your son probably is sensitive and smart. He just has to get to the point where he wants a better life and then he will start to make changes. The wait until they want a better life can be very long. Just when we think they hit bottom and will change, they go back to old ways. At this point, you have to weight what will be best for yourself with the impact of any help you give him. At his age, he really needs to learn how the world actually works. The world won't make his life easy just because he is sensitive. He is now an adult and he needs to figure life out for himself. Doing things for him actually isn't usually helping. He needs to do things for himself to prove to himself that he can actually handle life. When he calls, tell him that you have faith he will figure things out. What things? Whatever is bothering him. Keep him out of your home. He has shown you who he is. Believe him. He is a very angry person who lashes out when he gets mad. You deserve better. Far better. One thing that many parents find helpful is to make a list of short responses to use while on the phone with him. Things like "I have faith you will figure it out." and "Hmmmm. That is interesting." and "I need to go now. Have a good day." It sounds odd to practice things like this, but do it anyway. I find the car is a great time to practice stuff like this. This way, the responses will be automatic and you won't accidentally agree to something you don't want to do. One great phrase when you don't want to do something is "I don't think I would enjoy that." and make that statement the end of the discussion of the topic. Just change the subject or flat out say "That subject is over. Let's talk about . . . " [/QUOTE]
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I need some advice
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