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Failure to Thrive
I need some advice
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<blockquote data-quote="FallingIn" data-source="post: 760818" data-attributes="member: 26369"><p>Well, here I am again. I’m still struggling with the decision to let my son back into my house.</p><p></p><p>He is living in a place that is for young people at risk of homelessness. They have staff at the front desk 24/7. He has his own place with a bathroom and kitchen. He also has a cell phone and internet (that I pay for) and I am usually buying him groceries. He pays his own rent from the income assistance he gets from the government. He absolutely hates the place. The reasons are that he feels like he is a patient in a hospital because they have to ‘ring’ in and out, and get the staff to take them to the laundry room as it is under lock and key. To me, a small price to pay.</p><p></p><p>The reasons I am considering letting him back home are that I don’t think where he’s living is doing him any good. He has no real friends (due to us moving here last year and he didn’t know anyone). He has made friends with a girl who lives in the same place as him but she is also an alcoholic, plus is addicted to meth and cocaine. Luckily my son has not tried meth and cocaine with her. He is trying to not drink as well, and is successful until the girl knocks on his door with a bottle of liquor. He says he can’t resist her – as he enjoys drinking with her and he has never had any girl pay any attention to him ever in his life, so he likes that attention even though he knows she is not good for him.</p><p></p><p>So, basically I think if he moved back home he wouldn’t be around those that have addictions as well. I know when someone is trying to recover from addictions it is really hard when you are still associating with people who are addicted. He spends time here at my house. He visits for about 2-3 days at a time. He is very respectful, quiet, doesn’t drink. But he doesn’t do anything either, other than do his laundry and eat my food. He sits with me all the time as he doesn’t want to be alone.</p><p></p><p>I feel if I don’t give him another chance there won’t be much hope for him as he is so depressed. He texts me daily to say how much he wants to die, how he just wants his life to be over because it’s so pathetic, how he’s so angry that he has to be alive, etc.</p><p></p><p>I don’t know…. I’m waffling between giving him another chance at home - with conditions. Or do I leave him to suffer with his severe depression alone. I know it’s up to him to get help, but I also know someone who is severely depressed has a lot of trouble getting out of it without encouragement from others.</p><p></p><p>I am taking care of myself too. I try to stay busy, keep connected with my family and friends. It's really hard tho, but I keep on going.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="FallingIn, post: 760818, member: 26369"] Well, here I am again. I’m still struggling with the decision to let my son back into my house. He is living in a place that is for young people at risk of homelessness. They have staff at the front desk 24/7. He has his own place with a bathroom and kitchen. He also has a cell phone and internet (that I pay for) and I am usually buying him groceries. He pays his own rent from the income assistance he gets from the government. He absolutely hates the place. The reasons are that he feels like he is a patient in a hospital because they have to ‘ring’ in and out, and get the staff to take them to the laundry room as it is under lock and key. To me, a small price to pay. The reasons I am considering letting him back home are that I don’t think where he’s living is doing him any good. He has no real friends (due to us moving here last year and he didn’t know anyone). He has made friends with a girl who lives in the same place as him but she is also an alcoholic, plus is addicted to meth and cocaine. Luckily my son has not tried meth and cocaine with her. He is trying to not drink as well, and is successful until the girl knocks on his door with a bottle of liquor. He says he can’t resist her – as he enjoys drinking with her and he has never had any girl pay any attention to him ever in his life, so he likes that attention even though he knows she is not good for him. So, basically I think if he moved back home he wouldn’t be around those that have addictions as well. I know when someone is trying to recover from addictions it is really hard when you are still associating with people who are addicted. He spends time here at my house. He visits for about 2-3 days at a time. He is very respectful, quiet, doesn’t drink. But he doesn’t do anything either, other than do his laundry and eat my food. He sits with me all the time as he doesn’t want to be alone. I feel if I don’t give him another chance there won’t be much hope for him as he is so depressed. He texts me daily to say how much he wants to die, how he just wants his life to be over because it’s so pathetic, how he’s so angry that he has to be alive, etc. I don’t know…. I’m waffling between giving him another chance at home - with conditions. Or do I leave him to suffer with his severe depression alone. I know it’s up to him to get help, but I also know someone who is severely depressed has a lot of trouble getting out of it without encouragement from others. I am taking care of myself too. I try to stay busy, keep connected with my family and friends. It's really hard tho, but I keep on going. [/QUOTE]
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