Copa,
I don't know much about art or creativity like the ladies before me who posted, however, they do make some good points and thoughts for reflection.
So when I read your post, to me, it had nothing to do with your capabilities or incapabilities in this area. In my opinion, I think it's something else rooted deep within you that you touched upon in the quote above.
I have journaled for the last three years and came upon my first of many journals over the weekend, which I write down many thoughts or parts of books I've read that touch my soul and are worth re-reading. When I was finished reading this first journal, I was crying my eyes out because it brought me back to what I know is the root of many of my problems in life and that is that "I never feel I'm good enough". A very simple statement but it carries a lot of heavy emotional weight for me. I had loving parents and I don't want to blame them for anything but it was my perception of myself, the lack I felt, the character defects I saw in myself even as a young girls of 8 yrs. old. These wounds I have carried into my adulthood that somehow rear their ugly head and make me feel like I'm not enough. They carry into a lot of the problems I think I have had with enabling my sons. Never feeling I was or am good enough. Then I lived with an alcoholic husband for many years who was intermittently good but more often verbally abusive and then two sons who learned their father's behaviors.
That certainly reinforced the "I'm not good enough" for sure and I'm not quite sure at 57 yrs. old how I'll change that within myself because it's pretty hard and crusted into my being.
I'm a work in progress but I think it will come from my own self-talk, not comparing myself to others, finding things that satisfy me and help me to grow and nurture that little 8 yr. old girl who didn't think she was pretty enough, smart enough or nice enough for others to like her.
I'm also going to re-read the book I journaled through called "The Untethered Soul-the journey beyond yourself" by Michael A. Singer. I think I need to delve deeper to another level of healing.
Thank you for your post that helped prompt some areas in my life that I continue to need to heal from.
