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<blockquote data-quote="Ascending" data-source="post: 762737" data-attributes="member: 29778"><p>It’s all a learning process!!!</p><p></p><p>A hard one!</p><p></p><p></p><p>I wrote back some where you wrote on thread I started. It took actually being homeless (living in car ) for awhile for my son to be ready to change. </p><p></p><p>First, I think you need to feel okay to choose whatever meets your needs and those of your other son and husband first. That might be exactly what you are doing and letting your husband take control. And you can be sad because situation is sad. But the other way clearly wasn’t working for any of you, so this can at least be better for 3. And maybe it will be best for manipulative son too. </p><p></p><p>Some of all this may not even be very personal, but as much a situation of these times, just like losing a child to a war might have been in some prior time. Marijuana, vapes, etc entered into schools badly for this era. And it was probably not chance even that it happened. Plus popular culture influence. Including movies and media showing riches and drugs and almost no one is shown working hard ... </p><p></p><p>If you do ever let him home again or anything equivalent tough love and clear rules will still be needed. (And I hope any other relative etc giving him a chance will do that in your stead. </p><p>Though you can only control you.) </p><p></p><p>And I want to highly recommend </p><p>In Sheep’s Clothing by George Simon about dealing with manipulative people. </p><p>And if he’s going to a relatives you might share the book with them. </p><p></p><p><a href="https://a.co/aarMgap" target="_blank">https://a.co/aarMgap</a></p><p></p><p></p><p>One of my requirements for my son being at home was treating me with kindness, respect and ... one other word that eludes me now. </p><p></p><p>Another of course was no drugs. </p><p></p><p>Another requirement was work. He had to find a job and make it work asap. Since currently there are tons of work places looking for employees this was not so difficult now as it might have been in other times, though still harder than one would have thought. Including that a minimum wage grocery bagging job that seems to be begging for people has yet to have had a reply, while he actually ended up taking a $20 per hour type job. </p><p></p><p>Then, very important, has been nipping seemingly “small stuff” like minor disrespect or meanness to dogs in the bud. </p><p></p><p>...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ascending, post: 762737, member: 29778"] It’s all a learning process!!! A hard one! I wrote back some where you wrote on thread I started. It took actually being homeless (living in car ) for awhile for my son to be ready to change. First, I think you need to feel okay to choose whatever meets your needs and those of your other son and husband first. That might be exactly what you are doing and letting your husband take control. And you can be sad because situation is sad. But the other way clearly wasn’t working for any of you, so this can at least be better for 3. And maybe it will be best for manipulative son too. Some of all this may not even be very personal, but as much a situation of these times, just like losing a child to a war might have been in some prior time. Marijuana, vapes, etc entered into schools badly for this era. And it was probably not chance even that it happened. Plus popular culture influence. Including movies and media showing riches and drugs and almost no one is shown working hard ... If you do ever let him home again or anything equivalent tough love and clear rules will still be needed. (And I hope any other relative etc giving him a chance will do that in your stead. Though you can only control you.) And I want to highly recommend In Sheep’s Clothing by George Simon about dealing with manipulative people. And if he’s going to a relatives you might share the book with them. [URL]https://a.co/aarMgap[/URL] One of my requirements for my son being at home was treating me with kindness, respect and ... one other word that eludes me now. Another of course was no drugs. Another requirement was work. He had to find a job and make it work asap. Since currently there are tons of work places looking for employees this was not so difficult now as it might have been in other times, though still harder than one would have thought. Including that a minimum wage grocery bagging job that seems to be begging for people has yet to have had a reply, while he actually ended up taking a $20 per hour type job. Then, very important, has been nipping seemingly “small stuff” like minor disrespect or meanness to dogs in the bud. ... [/QUOTE]
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