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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 762742" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I will continue to believe that we can not "help" these adults and that all we do is get used and abused while they are pitied by us. Fact is, they are not children and if they won't work to get money to support themselves in my opinion it is best to write down the homeless shelters for them and phone numbers on how to apply for state benefits. Give it to them maybe so they can learn what life is like if they refuse to join society and its rules. Some like being homeless. Many leave our safe homes for the streetsveven when we offer them a place to live.</p><p></p><p>You have another child too. I decided that my other kids deserved peace.</p><p></p><p>Your husband is so important if you love him and he is a good man. He will likely be the one to be with you until the end unless you let Nathan destroy your marriage. It is a choice YOU have to make. He wants to let go of this chaos but you want to continue it. There has to be a way to work it out or the differences will likely end your marriage. Trust me, your son will not be with you when you are sick or in trouble or lonely. Once our kids are grown in my humble opinion it's not necessarily a good choice to put a wayward adult child above a spouse. I almost did...you read my story.</p><p></p><p>Being strong is to me knowing when to let go. It's easier, or it was for me, to keep enabling Kay than to give her to my God. So in my opinion its easier to hang in there when adult kids are doing negative things than to show them the consequences of what they do. </p><p></p><p>This is a big concern I shared withbyou. Kay could die. She had threatened suicide many times.They usually don't die. But they can. You could die too in some car accident. Your hubby could maybe get sick. </p><p></p><p>We can not keep another person alive. We can't. </p><p></p><p>I hope your focus becomes on yourself. I don't want you to be me in 8 years. Trust me. We can't control our wayward kids. But we sure give them the power to control us. And not in a productive ways.</p><p></p><p>Blessings.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 762742, member: 1550"] I will continue to believe that we can not "help" these adults and that all we do is get used and abused while they are pitied by us. Fact is, they are not children and if they won't work to get money to support themselves in my opinion it is best to write down the homeless shelters for them and phone numbers on how to apply for state benefits. Give it to them maybe so they can learn what life is like if they refuse to join society and its rules. Some like being homeless. Many leave our safe homes for the streetsveven when we offer them a place to live. You have another child too. I decided that my other kids deserved peace. Your husband is so important if you love him and he is a good man. He will likely be the one to be with you until the end unless you let Nathan destroy your marriage. It is a choice YOU have to make. He wants to let go of this chaos but you want to continue it. There has to be a way to work it out or the differences will likely end your marriage. Trust me, your son will not be with you when you are sick or in trouble or lonely. Once our kids are grown in my humble opinion it's not necessarily a good choice to put a wayward adult child above a spouse. I almost did...you read my story. Being strong is to me knowing when to let go. It's easier, or it was for me, to keep enabling Kay than to give her to my God. So in my opinion its easier to hang in there when adult kids are doing negative things than to show them the consequences of what they do. This is a big concern I shared withbyou. Kay could die. She had threatened suicide many times.They usually don't die. But they can. You could die too in some car accident. Your hubby could maybe get sick. We can not keep another person alive. We can't. I hope your focus becomes on yourself. I don't want you to be me in 8 years. Trust me. We can't control our wayward kids. But we sure give them the power to control us. And not in a productive ways. Blessings. [/QUOTE]
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