Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I need support
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Mirabelle" data-source="post: 762744" data-attributes="member: 28712"><p>Dear YogiLori, </p><p></p><p>I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can feel your suffering leaping off the page. Everyone who has commented has already given some EXCELLENT advice. I have been where you are (in fact I'm mostly still there.) </p><p></p><p>I have the same sadness and concern that heavy marijuana use has changed my son for the worse. He is 21 but has the foresight and maturity level of a 16 year old. Like your son, he knows everything, and he doesn't have much use for us when he is pretending to be a grown up and getting high whenever he chooses.....no job, no responsibilities, just living the life. When the consequences of his bad choices come home to roost, he suddenly plays the lost little boy again. And as his parents we are supposed to put up with his crap and kiss his boos boos.</p><p></p><p>I noted that you spoke of feeling guilty in regard to how sad your son must have felt when you refused to have him home. I have to say, it sounds as though you and your husband have given him countless opportunities to do better with your loving support. What could he really expect you to do? You know what he wants you to do, but no one in the real world would put up with that abusive and trauma inducing behavior. And although the friend's father that he is staying with is ready to have him out, you said it is not because he is misbehaving, but because it is time for him to move on. This is evidence of him being able to control his behavior when it is in his best interest. </p><p></p><p>Our son was not really abusive to us, but very petulant and dishonest. He consistently failed to follow rules he swore he would abide by every time he came home. No drugs, no staying up all night, get a job, pull your weight. Not one of these things ever happened, despite countless opportunities and loving support. If our son were still in our home, he would be behaving in exactly the same way, because there would be no impetus to do better. I suspect the same is true of your son. As unnatural as it sounds, my husband and I came to the conclusion that we were helping him more by putting him out than letting him stay. He had stolen our peace and exploited our kindness for long enough. </p><p></p><p>I'll have to cut my response short there but I am so glad to hear that you are seeking help and doing things for yourself because you have suffered a lot and you are worth the time!! Please keep posting - it really helps!</p><p></p><p>Mirabelle</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mirabelle, post: 762744, member: 28712"] Dear YogiLori, I am so sorry for what you are going through. I can feel your suffering leaping off the page. Everyone who has commented has already given some EXCELLENT advice. I have been where you are (in fact I'm mostly still there.) I have the same sadness and concern that heavy marijuana use has changed my son for the worse. He is 21 but has the foresight and maturity level of a 16 year old. Like your son, he knows everything, and he doesn't have much use for us when he is pretending to be a grown up and getting high whenever he chooses.....no job, no responsibilities, just living the life. When the consequences of his bad choices come home to roost, he suddenly plays the lost little boy again. And as his parents we are supposed to put up with his crap and kiss his boos boos. I noted that you spoke of feeling guilty in regard to how sad your son must have felt when you refused to have him home. I have to say, it sounds as though you and your husband have given him countless opportunities to do better with your loving support. What could he really expect you to do? You know what he wants you to do, but no one in the real world would put up with that abusive and trauma inducing behavior. And although the friend's father that he is staying with is ready to have him out, you said it is not because he is misbehaving, but because it is time for him to move on. This is evidence of him being able to control his behavior when it is in his best interest. Our son was not really abusive to us, but very petulant and dishonest. He consistently failed to follow rules he swore he would abide by every time he came home. No drugs, no staying up all night, get a job, pull your weight. Not one of these things ever happened, despite countless opportunities and loving support. If our son were still in our home, he would be behaving in exactly the same way, because there would be no impetus to do better. I suspect the same is true of your son. As unnatural as it sounds, my husband and I came to the conclusion that we were helping him more by putting him out than letting him stay. He had stolen our peace and exploited our kindness for long enough. I'll have to cut my response short there but I am so glad to hear that you are seeking help and doing things for yourself because you have suffered a lot and you are worth the time!! Please keep posting - it really helps! Mirabelle [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Substance Abuse
I need support
Top