Thanks you for your honesty. I too, have resorted to spanking and just plain slapping my child at times. I would have NEVER thought that I would do something like that but you hit the nail on the head when you said your difficult child looked directly at you and kicked the counter again. My son also has a way of making it very personal. And, just like everything else, the spanks and slaps don't work. My son was becoming very physically violent with both husband and I. It is so hard when you are being hit, kicked, bitten, etc... not to respond in a physical way. My son was recently discharged from his first psychiatric hospital visit and how this started was by my calling CPS. No one (counselors, psychiatrist, domestic violence hotline, etc.. )would tell me what to do when my son was violent and out of control. The typical answer of give him space and time to calm down resulted in property damage, difficult child hurting himself by head banging or kicking things, or difficult child following me into another room on the attack. Finally I called child protective services, explainned my son's condition and expressed that I was very concerned that someone (and I honestly wasn't sure if it would be him or me) was going to get hurt. They diredcted me to a program called family preservation. We were immediately accepted into the program. After the second visit, the in-home counselors told us that this is not a parenting problem and that my son was very unstable. They acknowledged that NOTHING could have been done to predict or intervene prior to many of my sons rages--this was so satisfying to hear! They suggested an evaluation and medication changes in a safe environment, ie psychiatric hospital. We struggled for about two more weeks and finally made the decision to do it. We contacted the hospital directly and did not do the ER visit which was so much less stressful. difficult child was actually very sweet and calm the day we admitted him but because I had two weeks worth of doccumented rages, admitting him was not a problem. Sorry for making this such a long post, but after two weeks he came home and it isn't perfect but he is significantly less violent and easier to live with. The family preservation people are working on getting us additional services including respite care. We finally feel like we have someone in our corner! I guess besides wanting to say that I UNDERSTAND your situation, I want to urge you to ask for help from family, friends, or community service agencies. They can help.
Another thought, and I am no doctor, is that I would consider replacing the focalin. If you son is agressive I would not use a stimulant medication. My son is also very hyper and we have had luck getting this undercontrol with 3 small doses (.05 mg) of clonodine. It is not enough to make him drowsy but it keeps the hyperness to a minimum. Just a thought.
Thanks for sharing your experience.
Wishing you the best.
Christy
