I think I am leaning toward removing Son from Residential Treatment Center (RTC)

[susiestar]

David,

I agree with waiting a bit. Most of our kids are really really good at manipulating us and others.

My son honeymooned for over 2 months in the psychiatric hospital. I had to push all his buttons to get him to show the staff his behaviors. IF they don't see them, how can they treat them?

Please leave your son in long enough to mess up and have problems. The staff at Residential Treatment Center (RTC) is well trained to show him how to cope with this and how to earn his way back up and out to graduation.

Pulling him out now, while your heart wants it, is not going to do him any favors.

Sorry to be so blunt. Hugs to your DaddyHeart.

Susie

 

[DavidWH]

Oh Man if there is one thing I hate is someone telling me they will do something and then they do not follow up even to say.. gth -

I have as shown in above post called them (Residential Treatment Center (RTC)) and asked for help, with Justin to ease is mind and they said we will call you back and give you an update, they did not call yesterday so I called before the office closed... and they said they would call today by noon and all is fine with- Justin he is doing good will call after treatment team meeting with counselors and let you know what we are doing to help him...

and yep you guessed it no call.. just got home have waited hours to get off work to check my email in case they emailed instead of call.. and yep .. NO EMAIL... grrrrrrrrrr this kinda lack a daisy stuff will drive my crazy unmedicated mind worse than normal... as if all this is not hard enough...

and I am reading all your comments AND filing each one in my mind... I thank you ... it helps

 

[nvts]

David: I haven't read anything except your very first post so I apologize if I'm repeating what everyone is saying (kids are home, death in family, it's been nuts around here!).

Don't bring him home yet. Even if he's ready, you need some more time to work on you. Talk to the psychiatrist, stay the course with the drinking, get more time on the new job. What happens if he comes home too soon and goes back to his old ways? You lose your job, your confidence and back to square one with your son.

Walk softly and carry a big stick! Please don't get too impatient and rush a process that takes time.

Again, if I'm repeating I'm really sorry but there's no way that I can read all of it tonight (it's 11:30 pm and I am beat - Heckle, Jeckle and Clyde have been getting up at 5:30 every morning through vacation~ aaaagggghhhh~!~~)

G'night!

Beth :bloodshot:

 

[Martie]

I agree with everyone else but especially not bringing him home after one "busy" home visit...Try several "boring" home visits where you have to say "no," and approximate life a bit more realistically. This situation is harder for a fg to manipulate.

My ex-difficult child had his ups and downs with home visits (4), but some of his peer group just fell apart. Often the reason was the kid talked the parent into early termination of the program. I would leave him where he is, let him work on his program AND you work on a transition plan that is realistic.

I had to take my son to work for 6 weeks between semesters....he was also enrolled in an on-line h.s. program he could work on in my office. It was not fun or pretty. We made it, but I was VERY glad when the second semester started and he could go to a "regular" boarding school for a semester transition. AFTER that experience, I was quite certain he could live at home, and he did, with no major problems for the last two years of (private day) high school. What I am saying is a slow transition to the "real world" after a residential therapeutic experience is a necessary step. Not one of the kids in the peer group who left early is successful. Of those who completed the program, several are quite successful. There are never any guarantees, but don't stack the deck against success.

Martie

 

[DavidWH]

Thanks again.. I am now calmed down and some of the mind is calmer.. as I said I will not do anything based on my emotions.. I think now I am waiting on a family session..

I feel I may have to give some tough love to him... and nip this is the butt once and for all.. about him stressing about finding a way home...

after tons of thought... him being the one to force his way home would be exactly what he has done in the past.. push push push till he gets his way... even though he is doing it in the most respectful way now.. he is still doing it.. I see that now and I will not allow it to happen