I was the child you're all posting about. AMA


CD freedom fighter
I have Conduct Disorder, ADHD, AVPD and Borderline (BPD). If you would like a perspective on things from my side of the equation, feel free to ask me anything or share your opinions on things.


Well-Known Member
Curious, at what point did you come to accept your diagnosis and what type of treatment was beneficial? Thanks for offering your viewpoint. Ksm


CD freedom fighter
Curious, at what point did you come to accept your diagnosis and what type of treatment was beneficial? Thanks for offering your viewpoint. Ksm
I accepted that I had ADHD at I think about 9. I wasn't officially diagnosis'd with it until 12, when I was also diagnosed with ODD. I transitioned from ODD to CD about 13 and a half, and I think at that point I definitely knew what I was. My personality disorder diagnoses came much later. For ADHD, stimulant medications helped (Mydayis). CD can't really be treated but I know that it helped when I was given more freedom. Smashing ODD/CD kids down with strict discipline isn't the way to do it. It just cultivates their intense defiance and sense of oppression by the system.
Hi Defiant, thank you for making contact. My son, 24, currently estranged from me, sounds like he has a similar profile to you, though of course everyone is an individuaI with unique experiences. I agree we parents can create or exacerbate the problem, the difficulty arises because we don't know we are creating a problem, we just muddle along and do our best. Then, 'Houston we have a problem' and it is not necessarily the child's nor the parents' fault. It just is, and we have to deal with it using a whole new skillset from the ones we were using when our kids were small - not helping, rescuing, providing solutions, but supporting, listening, and giving space for the young adult to deal with setbacks on their own. I'm also sure that no-one on this site would advocate strict discipline to help with their difficulties with their children. I'd like to ask you if you are still in contact with your parents, and what you feel is the best approach to make peace with parents who you might feel angry towards? If we are the problem, how can we fix ourselves?


New Member
Hi Defiant! Thanks for coming here. It's so useful to hear about what worked and didn't work for you. What are the best ways for parents to help their defiant kids to succeed?


Well-Known Member
How old are you now and what are your circumstances? Work, living situation, contact with family? Are you independent? What is your substance abuse history, if any? I am sorry if I missed it but what is your gender?

Have you read some threads? Are you seeking anything of a personal nature by being here on this forum? What are the things that your parents should have, could have known, to have better helped you? Or more directly, did they hurt you and how?

I have been here over 5 years. I would be hard-pressed to think of a profile that would be typical, as in, the child we all post about.

There was a young man who posted here for a long time. I wish I could remember his name. When he stopped posting we worried about him. He helped a lot of us. Thank you for being here. Welcome.
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100% better than I was but not at 100% yet
I think this person could be a scam. Has not returned....

Copa wasn't that person named Darkwing or something.