The therapist said difficult child was very disturbed--said it in front of him too. Said it several times. After he saw the picture and the log, he started talking about hospitalization and long term residential treatment. Tears started pouring down difficult child's face. The therapist talked about different ways of paying for it and spent a lot of time arguing the pros of it, as though there was someone resisting.
On the way home husband said the therapist had mentioned it last visit, but thought maybe to hold off until the medications took hold. He thought that perhaps lexapro wasn't the best choice of drug, and maybe there was time to bring out the big guns of drugs. He asked difficult child if he heard voices. difficult child said no (he knows not to say yes, altho I don't know if he is hearing voices). This is the second time therapist has asked difficult child this question.
He asked him why he tore off the blades off the ceiling fan; what was he thinking, what was making him angry. difficult child said he didn't know, he was just angry. When there was a pause I said, "What did you tell me the reason you were angry was?"
"Because of the pills."
"No, you said you were afraid that your stomache would rip from eating two pieces of pizza." I said this fear had come up a couple of times.
The therapist eyes widened, but he said difficult child's stomache wouldn't rip. difficult child tried to cover this up and talk about the pills, but by that time the therapist's mind was made up and he wasn't interested in details. Disturbed is disturbed, I guess and disturbed people are going to behave in disturbed ways.
difficult child can't stay out of trouble. Usually he gets home a couple minutes before me and has to sit on the front bench until I come. Son17 and daughter were in the house.
Today I got home and difficult child wasn't there (sometimes the driver drops him off after I get home). But a couple minutes later he showed up.
"I didn't see a car."
"The driver dropped me off down the road."
(this has been an issue before and the driver has been told not to and difficult child has been told not to get out of the car unless it's infront of the house)
difficult child explained that the driver said 'get out' and he tried to ignore him but the second time the driver hit him in the shoulder, so difficult child had to get out. Then he didn't want to get in trouble so he ran home.
We did not believe him. We believe he was wandering the neighborhood.
At therapy husband talked about the slashing screen, the two pairs of lost shoes, the cellphone in the garbage disposal, the broken ceiling fan and that difficult child was wandering the neighborhood even today.
"What do you have to say." therapist asked difficult child. Of all that, difficult child was indignant about being accused of wandering the neighborhood. therapist cut him off and said that's not the point, the point is do you want to be a part of the family. And difficult child didn't get to finish his lie.
Well, at the end of the session, after hearing about how he was going to possibly go to the hospital, and probably therapeutic schools, and being told his parents need a break from him, he was asked if he had anything to say about anything. Again difficult child insisted on saying how he didn't wander after school and how the driver was mean and how he tried to run home so not get into trouble.
THe therapist didn't believe him, and told him at this point it didn't matter anyway, he was wasting his lies. He had worked in an Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) for 7 years and told a story about a kid who claimed he hadn't gotten any xmas presents and what a liar he was, and how he was using the same lying techniques as difficult child.
Ok, fine. On the way home, driving through our neighborhood, what do we see lying on a side walk a couple streets away from our house? difficult child's bike. He'd come home early, snuck around the side of the house, got on his bike and rode off. Then he saw my van in the neighborhood, abandonned his bike and ran home with a story about the driver hitting him on the shoulder.
And wait...there's more! After therapy, we take difficult child up to his room. A couple minutes later it pours rain, and son14 taking out garbage notices difficult child's window is open. husband goes upstairs to shut it. He startles difficult child who thrusts something under the pillow. It's a radio. Our emergency hurricane wind up radio. He stole it.
I'm rambling because I'm still processing an hour and a half of this session. I guess last session difficult child was asked to draw pictures of houses. therapist asked him if he liked his house. difficult child said yes. therapist asked if the house liked him. difficult child said it's a house it doesn't have feelings. "Well, if it did have feelings, would it like you?" difficult child said it would. Then he tried to destroy the house? husband thinks that might be why he chose to destroy the ceiling fan.
Another interesting thing. difficult child said he did not draw the picture. It's not his drawing style. It was pointed out that he admitted it at the time and it was his handwriting. Everyone said almost at once, hey it is your drawing. And he said 'well I drew one like it but not that one'. "So there are more violent drawings?" difficult child looked alarmed and stopped protesting. "I dunno." He got sullen.
Another interesting thing. On occasion, not often, but on occasion, husband has smacked difficult child. husband brought up the issue of difficult child going to the hospital and conning all the personnel with his poor little beaten puppy dog stories and it would just open up another CPS investigation and how tired he was of all this. therapist said that difficult child has been caught lying about this so much the staff at the hospital wouldn't believe it for a second. difficult child said he'd never accused his dad of abusing him. It was pointed out he's been doing it since he was eight and he freely admitted it at the time and several times since that he did it because he wanted his dad arrested and he wanted us to divorce. It was in the police reports. difficult child said he didn't remember that, the only time he could remember any talking to him about his dad abusing him was one time about a year ago and he said dad had never hit him except once when he got spanked and he deserved it because he was very very bad and dad hadn't been abusive. And that's what he'd told the investigators.
Well, this is an out and out lie. husband has smacked him more than once. He's not proud of it, and it wasn't anything that would leave a bruise, nor is it a regular practice, but over the last 4 years of aggravation, husband has probably given him a whack on maybe 20 occasions. Instead of lying saying that husband was abusing him as difficult child has been doing at every opportunity, this time he lied and said just the opposite, said that husband was nicer than he'd really been. (husband thinks difficult child is starting to feel cornered, but I wonder if difficult child is trying to butter up husband to stay out of the hospital and is backtracking...see, I'm not a problem who is so disturbed I tell everyone that I'm abused, it was all a big misunderstanding)
On the way home husband said the therapist had mentioned it last visit, but thought maybe to hold off until the medications took hold. He thought that perhaps lexapro wasn't the best choice of drug, and maybe there was time to bring out the big guns of drugs. He asked difficult child if he heard voices. difficult child said no (he knows not to say yes, altho I don't know if he is hearing voices). This is the second time therapist has asked difficult child this question.
He asked him why he tore off the blades off the ceiling fan; what was he thinking, what was making him angry. difficult child said he didn't know, he was just angry. When there was a pause I said, "What did you tell me the reason you were angry was?"
"Because of the pills."
"No, you said you were afraid that your stomache would rip from eating two pieces of pizza." I said this fear had come up a couple of times.
The therapist eyes widened, but he said difficult child's stomache wouldn't rip. difficult child tried to cover this up and talk about the pills, but by that time the therapist's mind was made up and he wasn't interested in details. Disturbed is disturbed, I guess and disturbed people are going to behave in disturbed ways.
difficult child can't stay out of trouble. Usually he gets home a couple minutes before me and has to sit on the front bench until I come. Son17 and daughter were in the house.
Today I got home and difficult child wasn't there (sometimes the driver drops him off after I get home). But a couple minutes later he showed up.
"I didn't see a car."
"The driver dropped me off down the road."
(this has been an issue before and the driver has been told not to and difficult child has been told not to get out of the car unless it's infront of the house)
difficult child explained that the driver said 'get out' and he tried to ignore him but the second time the driver hit him in the shoulder, so difficult child had to get out. Then he didn't want to get in trouble so he ran home.
We did not believe him. We believe he was wandering the neighborhood.
At therapy husband talked about the slashing screen, the two pairs of lost shoes, the cellphone in the garbage disposal, the broken ceiling fan and that difficult child was wandering the neighborhood even today.
"What do you have to say." therapist asked difficult child. Of all that, difficult child was indignant about being accused of wandering the neighborhood. therapist cut him off and said that's not the point, the point is do you want to be a part of the family. And difficult child didn't get to finish his lie.
Well, at the end of the session, after hearing about how he was going to possibly go to the hospital, and probably therapeutic schools, and being told his parents need a break from him, he was asked if he had anything to say about anything. Again difficult child insisted on saying how he didn't wander after school and how the driver was mean and how he tried to run home so not get into trouble.
THe therapist didn't believe him, and told him at this point it didn't matter anyway, he was wasting his lies. He had worked in an Residential Treatment Facility (RTF) for 7 years and told a story about a kid who claimed he hadn't gotten any xmas presents and what a liar he was, and how he was using the same lying techniques as difficult child.
Ok, fine. On the way home, driving through our neighborhood, what do we see lying on a side walk a couple streets away from our house? difficult child's bike. He'd come home early, snuck around the side of the house, got on his bike and rode off. Then he saw my van in the neighborhood, abandonned his bike and ran home with a story about the driver hitting him on the shoulder.
And wait...there's more! After therapy, we take difficult child up to his room. A couple minutes later it pours rain, and son14 taking out garbage notices difficult child's window is open. husband goes upstairs to shut it. He startles difficult child who thrusts something under the pillow. It's a radio. Our emergency hurricane wind up radio. He stole it.
I'm rambling because I'm still processing an hour and a half of this session. I guess last session difficult child was asked to draw pictures of houses. therapist asked him if he liked his house. difficult child said yes. therapist asked if the house liked him. difficult child said it's a house it doesn't have feelings. "Well, if it did have feelings, would it like you?" difficult child said it would. Then he tried to destroy the house? husband thinks that might be why he chose to destroy the ceiling fan.
Another interesting thing. difficult child said he did not draw the picture. It's not his drawing style. It was pointed out that he admitted it at the time and it was his handwriting. Everyone said almost at once, hey it is your drawing. And he said 'well I drew one like it but not that one'. "So there are more violent drawings?" difficult child looked alarmed and stopped protesting. "I dunno." He got sullen.
Another interesting thing. On occasion, not often, but on occasion, husband has smacked difficult child. husband brought up the issue of difficult child going to the hospital and conning all the personnel with his poor little beaten puppy dog stories and it would just open up another CPS investigation and how tired he was of all this. therapist said that difficult child has been caught lying about this so much the staff at the hospital wouldn't believe it for a second. difficult child said he'd never accused his dad of abusing him. It was pointed out he's been doing it since he was eight and he freely admitted it at the time and several times since that he did it because he wanted his dad arrested and he wanted us to divorce. It was in the police reports. difficult child said he didn't remember that, the only time he could remember any talking to him about his dad abusing him was one time about a year ago and he said dad had never hit him except once when he got spanked and he deserved it because he was very very bad and dad hadn't been abusive. And that's what he'd told the investigators.
Well, this is an out and out lie. husband has smacked him more than once. He's not proud of it, and it wasn't anything that would leave a bruise, nor is it a regular practice, but over the last 4 years of aggravation, husband has probably given him a whack on maybe 20 occasions. Instead of lying saying that husband was abusing him as difficult child has been doing at every opportunity, this time he lied and said just the opposite, said that husband was nicer than he'd really been. (husband thinks difficult child is starting to feel cornered, but I wonder if difficult child is trying to butter up husband to stay out of the hospital and is backtracking...see, I'm not a problem who is so disturbed I tell everyone that I'm abused, it was all a big misunderstanding)
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