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General Parenting
I'm new to this site and I'm hoping to find some support.
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<blockquote data-quote="Allan-Matlem" data-source="post: 448298" data-attributes="member: 10"><p>Hi,</p><p>I believe that if the school is ok , peers basically positive kids learn and mature more when they are away from home. If in the near future he can find his place there , make connections with the boys and more important find a teacher who will be a mentor for him. I don't know anything about ' military schools ' , but I prefer any school that focuses on community and cooperation to promote character and values rather than using reward, punishments or consequences to get behavior and compliance.</p><p></p><p>Has your son always struggled with getting his assignments done and on time ? It could be he struggles with ' executive functions ' - planning , organization and reflection . These types of problems are best addressed in the context of actual problems and his concerns.</p><p></p><p>I think it is important to try and improve your relationship with him , put the relationship first above getting him to comply. Getting compliance using threats or bribes may help in the short term only. Finding a mentor or older brother , a young adult who he can open up to and be guided by is so important. If we don't have a positive relationship we drive our kids into the arms of negative peers which is a disaster.</p><p></p><p>Changing the dynamic from confrontation to ' working with' will take time because he needs to learn to trust you. He has to see you as one who can help him and serve his interests .</p><p></p><p>It is not easy. The main focus I think is just connecting with him, having a good time together , general chatting, getting him to speak and we listen</p><p></p><p>Allan</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Allan-Matlem, post: 448298, member: 10"] Hi, I believe that if the school is ok , peers basically positive kids learn and mature more when they are away from home. If in the near future he can find his place there , make connections with the boys and more important find a teacher who will be a mentor for him. I don't know anything about ' military schools ' , but I prefer any school that focuses on community and cooperation to promote character and values rather than using reward, punishments or consequences to get behavior and compliance. Has your son always struggled with getting his assignments done and on time ? It could be he struggles with ' executive functions ' - planning , organization and reflection . These types of problems are best addressed in the context of actual problems and his concerns. I think it is important to try and improve your relationship with him , put the relationship first above getting him to comply. Getting compliance using threats or bribes may help in the short term only. Finding a mentor or older brother , a young adult who he can open up to and be guided by is so important. If we don't have a positive relationship we drive our kids into the arms of negative peers which is a disaster. Changing the dynamic from confrontation to ' working with' will take time because he needs to learn to trust you. He has to see you as one who can help him and serve his interests . It is not easy. The main focus I think is just connecting with him, having a good time together , general chatting, getting him to speak and we listen Allan [/QUOTE]
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General Parenting
I'm new to this site and I'm hoping to find some support.
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