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I'm so tired of being lonely...feel like running away
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 478277" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>MWM, </p><p></p><p>I don't know if this is going to come off as the screwball thought of the group (but what else is new) BUT.......why is it that everyone is always in such a dire pit if they don't have companionship like everyone else? (exhales and thinks a long time wincing eyes and pursing lips) I'm guessing I'm the little weirdo that would probably end up on the end of the dirt road, back of the hills with a bunch of animals all alone and be just dandy with coming to town once or twice a month for supplies and maybe a poke my head in the local tavern for a round of whatever - then back to my place in the woods -----alone. Content as can be. I'm putting on either. Also as far as I can tell I'm not borderline, or have any disorder other than one I've coined as "I can't take your BS so please don't leave any at my door step." </p><p></p><p>See over the years? I've thought I've had this complete desire to have "GIRLFRIENDS" omg would just perish without them. I 'needed' them, wanted them, had to have them, could not wait to get to be older to have them because growing up - my Father was quite the recluse and didn't allow us to have friends at our house. We (thinking back) may have had one or two cousins spend the night once in my entire life. We never had friends IN our house, because he was so ultra private - so we never actually went and stayed over either for fear the favor would be reciprocated. Call it what you will but in my entire life I never slept over at anyones home. Never - ever. The first person that ever spent the night at my house was IN my own apartment when I was 16. Kinda strange but that's what began all the learning of why I really didn't need knives in my back. </p><p></p><p>Since then, and now at 47? I can honestly say to you the best friends I've ever had in MY life are the ones I have here on the board. My phone calls to some of the members here are more meaningfull, and more pleasurable than any I've had with people I've met face to face and have done scads more for (in my humble opinion). Each and every person I've met here in SC? Have all asked things of me, gotten things from me, borrowed things from me, never replaced things from me - and never repaid me - ever. ALL have soon forgotten me. I've never done favor for a favor - yet when I was in dire straights and they KNEW it? NONE came to my aid and more than once they all stabbed me either in the back or the heart. I never did that to them.......and one by one; I've stopped calling, and now I'm once again alone and actually happier to just go shopping by myself, yard sale alone, library alone, volunteer alone.......and I'm content to do most everything alone. </p><p></p><p>What I get out of it? I have no hangups......no gossips, no heart breaks, no drama, and it's actually nice because when I need something the one person I can count on (me) is there all the time and I've gotten used to my schedule. It's actually amazing what you CAN accomplish on your own without all the drawbacks and hangups of having to deal without the BS. I'm not saying there aren't really good people out there - but what I've found here? Not a reliable person in the bunch - What I've found on the board? Best in the world. So as far as I'm concerned? I'd rather go hang out with myself, come here - chat and then go do a few things like volunteer - kill some time, do some good - hang out with the animals.......and then come home. </p><p></p><p>Someday maybe I'll hit the lotto, buy that animal rescue and then be the reculuse I'd like to really be. Philantrophic recluse is on my bucket list. lol. </p><p></p><p>Just thought maybe you'd like a different take on being alone and the fact that it's not so bad.........really. I too miss my kids.......but I'm happy that I raised a son that is off living his life -------living well. My job there? Completed well. </p><p></p><p>And ............just because you're 'older' does not mean ya can't find something FUN to do - I mean what IS on YOUR bucket list? </p><p></p><p>Belly Dancing? </p><p>Pottery Class? </p><p>Stained Glass Class? </p><p>Karate? </p><p>Archery? </p><p></p><p>Most community centers offer classes ALL.THE.TIME......so do vocational centers, Michaels Craft centers, Jo Anne Fabrics......I mean there is NO excuse if you WANT to make friends to get out there and find SOMETHING you are passionate about to share with others and NOT be a recluse. </p><p>Motorcycle Club......(Tech School get your license) </p><p></p><p>Tech School -------get a degree.....</p><p>Continuing Education........</p><p>Volunteer at the school as an Aide.......</p><p></p><p>OH right now????? Salvation Army is ABSOLUTELY in need of volunteers.......</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 478277, member: 4964"] MWM, I don't know if this is going to come off as the screwball thought of the group (but what else is new) BUT.......why is it that everyone is always in such a dire pit if they don't have companionship like everyone else? (exhales and thinks a long time wincing eyes and pursing lips) I'm guessing I'm the little weirdo that would probably end up on the end of the dirt road, back of the hills with a bunch of animals all alone and be just dandy with coming to town once or twice a month for supplies and maybe a poke my head in the local tavern for a round of whatever - then back to my place in the woods -----alone. Content as can be. I'm putting on either. Also as far as I can tell I'm not borderline, or have any disorder other than one I've coined as "I can't take your BS so please don't leave any at my door step." See over the years? I've thought I've had this complete desire to have "GIRLFRIENDS" omg would just perish without them. I 'needed' them, wanted them, had to have them, could not wait to get to be older to have them because growing up - my Father was quite the recluse and didn't allow us to have friends at our house. We (thinking back) may have had one or two cousins spend the night once in my entire life. We never had friends IN our house, because he was so ultra private - so we never actually went and stayed over either for fear the favor would be reciprocated. Call it what you will but in my entire life I never slept over at anyones home. Never - ever. The first person that ever spent the night at my house was IN my own apartment when I was 16. Kinda strange but that's what began all the learning of why I really didn't need knives in my back. Since then, and now at 47? I can honestly say to you the best friends I've ever had in MY life are the ones I have here on the board. My phone calls to some of the members here are more meaningfull, and more pleasurable than any I've had with people I've met face to face and have done scads more for (in my humble opinion). Each and every person I've met here in SC? Have all asked things of me, gotten things from me, borrowed things from me, never replaced things from me - and never repaid me - ever. ALL have soon forgotten me. I've never done favor for a favor - yet when I was in dire straights and they KNEW it? NONE came to my aid and more than once they all stabbed me either in the back or the heart. I never did that to them.......and one by one; I've stopped calling, and now I'm once again alone and actually happier to just go shopping by myself, yard sale alone, library alone, volunteer alone.......and I'm content to do most everything alone. What I get out of it? I have no hangups......no gossips, no heart breaks, no drama, and it's actually nice because when I need something the one person I can count on (me) is there all the time and I've gotten used to my schedule. It's actually amazing what you CAN accomplish on your own without all the drawbacks and hangups of having to deal without the BS. I'm not saying there aren't really good people out there - but what I've found here? Not a reliable person in the bunch - What I've found on the board? Best in the world. So as far as I'm concerned? I'd rather go hang out with myself, come here - chat and then go do a few things like volunteer - kill some time, do some good - hang out with the animals.......and then come home. Someday maybe I'll hit the lotto, buy that animal rescue and then be the reculuse I'd like to really be. Philantrophic recluse is on my bucket list. lol. Just thought maybe you'd like a different take on being alone and the fact that it's not so bad.........really. I too miss my kids.......but I'm happy that I raised a son that is off living his life -------living well. My job there? Completed well. And ............just because you're 'older' does not mean ya can't find something FUN to do - I mean what IS on YOUR bucket list? Belly Dancing? Pottery Class? Stained Glass Class? Karate? Archery? Most community centers offer classes ALL.THE.TIME......so do vocational centers, Michaels Craft centers, Jo Anne Fabrics......I mean there is NO excuse if you WANT to make friends to get out there and find SOMETHING you are passionate about to share with others and NOT be a recluse. Motorcycle Club......(Tech School get your license) Tech School -------get a degree..... Continuing Education........ Volunteer at the school as an Aide....... OH right now????? Salvation Army is ABSOLUTELY in need of volunteers....... [/QUOTE]
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I'm so tired of being lonely...feel like running away
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