In Illinois, any legal ramifications to throwing the Problem Child OUT of the house!

[jhoward]

Seeking advice on the basics. Girlfriend’s youngest daughter, 19, has full paid-ticket to college. Attended first semester—academic probation. Secon semester, brought her grades up (C avg). Two classes (online) over the Summer and she flunked one. Soph year starts up end of this month.



She’s emotionally immature, angry, mean-spirited, beligerent, threatened violence in the past. She’s refusing to return to college without a car. The deal was bring your grades up and you can take the car—she did not achieve and now is using this, I believe, as a justification for not returning to college. I think she just doesn’t want to go back.

Per her mother, there is no path except to complete three years of college and get her degree. If this young adult refuses to go back to school, her mother is telling her she’s out—she must move out by end of this month. Personally, I think living on her own will help her grow up and appreciate everything she takes for granted.

In Illinois, are there any legal ramifications? I would think not as this kid is 19 and soon to be 20.

 

[CrazyinVA]

I don't know anything about Illinois, but in many states (including mine, Virginia) if an adult is unwilling to move out, you do have to start formal eviction proceedings to make that happen. In my case, when my Oldest was 19, she refused to leave when I "kicked her out." However, the situation escalated to violence once night and the police escorted her out, she didn't argue with them. I couldn't have called them to simply remove her otherwise, however.

I'm not sure what you mean by "there is no path except to complete three years of college and get her degree." An alternative, if the "child" in question is willing and able, is to insist that she work and pay rent if she wants to enjoy the privilege of living at home. Personally this would be my next step if my child were flunking out of school; I ceratainly wouldn't foot the bill if the grades weren't there. If she doesn't want to go, why push her? Let her try her hand in the working world for awhile.

Of course, I don't know the specifics of the situation. Is this behavior, and the academic issues, recent? Were there similar issues in high school? Is there any sort of diagnosed disorder/disability?

 

[witzend]

It's difficult to give advice when we don't know the full particulars of the situation. Perhaps your friend could write and give us a fuller history?

 

[slsh]

I'm in IL. When we were examining options for my then 18-year-old, I made a quick call to village police. Per them, if he lived here and it didn't work out and we wanted him out, we would have to go thru the eviction process (file with- court, have him served by county sheriff, etc., etc.), even though it's our home and even though he wouldn't have been paying rent. You might have your friend check with- her local village/city/county law enforcement agency about eviction procedures for an adult child. Once they're 18, they're adult and we have no legal obligations (aside from possible eviction if they're in the family home).

 

[Hound dog]

Yep, I'd check it out just to be sure. If for no other reason than if she decides not to cooperate about moving out. Agree with your girlfriend on the no school you're out thing. Hope she can stick to her guns. Sometimes it's much easier to threaten it than to follow though.

 

[jhoward]

Thanks to all who responded. The latest is the 19yo is requesting a 'mediation' with the psychiatric. Girlfriend will attend. The clock is ticking. I'll post an update next week. T