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In law/daughter in law questions
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 738197" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I had a marvelous mother in law. She was so kind and never interferred.</p><p></p><p>I am with Tired Mama. Nothing wears you down to your kids SO like a stick your nose in it mother in law. And your grown kid doesnt want or need your .02 on childrearing, their jobs, their spose, or anything really. They want your friendship and support, not hovering and criticising and being too involved in their business. I think my best advice for both being thr mother of a married adult child AND his/her SO is to be a good friend who supports thrm positively and keeps judgment to oneself. This is hard for some, but I feel it is important.</p><p></p><p>We didnt like our folks criticizing us or telling us how to do something better, unless we asked, and our kids and their spouses dont like it either. They need to learn, like we did. We need to learn to be a friend to them. Without being bossy.</p><p></p><p>Nomad, sounds like you are doing fine. The kids marry people who have families and problems of their own. Some mothers get jealous of a mother in law who gets close to her child and the child may feel guilty about it. That dynamic in my opinion plays out a lot. Some adult kids pull back to not offend their own mother. It is what it is.</p><p></p><p>As long as you are kind and not interferring there isnt much else you can do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 738197, member: 1550"] I had a marvelous mother in law. She was so kind and never interferred. I am with Tired Mama. Nothing wears you down to your kids SO like a stick your nose in it mother in law. And your grown kid doesnt want or need your .02 on childrearing, their jobs, their spose, or anything really. They want your friendship and support, not hovering and criticising and being too involved in their business. I think my best advice for both being thr mother of a married adult child AND his/her SO is to be a good friend who supports thrm positively and keeps judgment to oneself. This is hard for some, but I feel it is important. We didnt like our folks criticizing us or telling us how to do something better, unless we asked, and our kids and their spouses dont like it either. They need to learn, like we did. We need to learn to be a friend to them. Without being bossy. Nomad, sounds like you are doing fine. The kids marry people who have families and problems of their own. Some mothers get jealous of a mother in law who gets close to her child and the child may feel guilty about it. That dynamic in my opinion plays out a lot. Some adult kids pull back to not offend their own mother. It is what it is. As long as you are kind and not interferring there isnt much else you can do. [/QUOTE]
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