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Into the garbage pit.
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<blockquote data-quote="newstart" data-source="post: 758302" data-attributes="member: 22416"><p>Thank you Copa, my wise friend. It is naive of me to think she is growing, getting older so maybe the abuse will just go away. She is who she is. A person that will not do anything about her bad behavior. I think when thing are going ok, I let down my guard. I am not comfortable walking around defensive and guarded, it wears me out yet that is what I have to do if I want to continue with such a nasty person. Maybe I just don't want to do that anymore. Maybe I am getting to the end of my road where I have lost patience and maybe I have matured to the point I just plain do not want to deal with it. I have been at the crossroads with her like this and have stopped talking to her for 3 months, it made an improvement and it forced her to change. I thought all that major nasty stuff was behind us and it is back. I guess with her disorder it never goes away, it is always there lurking. I am always amazed at the abusive words and toxic ways my daughter uses that are identical to my bipolar sister in law. My daughter and sister in law hardly ever saw each other. My sister in law is so toxic that I completely stopped talking to her for 20+ years. We finally did talk and her brother, my husband asked me NOT to open that bag of worms. My sister in law and I now have a very guarded, superficial, business like relationship. When we do see each other, the air is thick, stressed and I have to sage my home and open all the windows to let the bad vibes out.. I guess what I am saying is if that is the only kind of relationship I can have with my daughter, I do not even want one. I can learn to love her from afar. I know I can never replace my child but I can learn how to live without the abuse. Thank you Copa for your guidance and trying to point me in the right direction. I know you understand that after a toxic beating the mind just can't make good sense. **Love**</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="newstart, post: 758302, member: 22416"] Thank you Copa, my wise friend. It is naive of me to think she is growing, getting older so maybe the abuse will just go away. She is who she is. A person that will not do anything about her bad behavior. I think when thing are going ok, I let down my guard. I am not comfortable walking around defensive and guarded, it wears me out yet that is what I have to do if I want to continue with such a nasty person. Maybe I just don't want to do that anymore. Maybe I am getting to the end of my road where I have lost patience and maybe I have matured to the point I just plain do not want to deal with it. I have been at the crossroads with her like this and have stopped talking to her for 3 months, it made an improvement and it forced her to change. I thought all that major nasty stuff was behind us and it is back. I guess with her disorder it never goes away, it is always there lurking. I am always amazed at the abusive words and toxic ways my daughter uses that are identical to my bipolar sister in law. My daughter and sister in law hardly ever saw each other. My sister in law is so toxic that I completely stopped talking to her for 20+ years. We finally did talk and her brother, my husband asked me NOT to open that bag of worms. My sister in law and I now have a very guarded, superficial, business like relationship. When we do see each other, the air is thick, stressed and I have to sage my home and open all the windows to let the bad vibes out.. I guess what I am saying is if that is the only kind of relationship I can have with my daughter, I do not even want one. I can learn to love her from afar. I know I can never replace my child but I can learn how to live without the abuse. Thank you Copa for your guidance and trying to point me in the right direction. I know you understand that after a toxic beating the mind just can't make good sense. **Love** [/QUOTE]
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