Into the garbage pit.

newstart

Well-Known Member
Went over to my daughters house today, she wanted to have a meal together, she made a steak, we ate together and it was ok. Went outside to remove more trash, picked up the yards did other things and noticed the ex boyfriends shoes there plus the stupid greasy things that he eats. Told my daughter that she is deceptive and I am sorry that I had put so much time and energy into helping her. There is NO way I would have worked over there had I known he was not gone all the way. I could feel his sleazy vibes in the house while we ate. I have to find out why I help people that are so rude and deceptive to me. I have to find out why I tolerate further than I have to.
When I say this guy is scum of the earth, I am not saying this because of how much I dislike him, I am saying this because if I did not know him and met him somewhere I would run the other way. He reeks bad living, he reeks jail material, he reeks just anything in this world that is dark and murky~ And my daughter hangs on to him like he is some kind of gold. She even got a job close to his mothers home. I have never seen such a toxic combination, I have never seen two that are so bad and wicked for each other. They are sick with each other and sick apart. My stomach is in knots because when they are together it is a bomb. I will be looking to move.
 

Copabanana

Well-Known Member
Hi Newstart. I hope I don't anger you but I will say the silver lining. Your daughter loves and needs you. She wants your company. She likes to be with you. To the point where she is hiding in part the reality of her life. What did she get out of this white lie, except for contact with you?

She may not have the strength right now to get rid of him 100 percent. But I don't think she lied to you in order to cheat you, or game you or even to manipulate you. She lied to you to be close to you. Why else make the steak? Manipulating you and extracting favors, does not require company and closeness.

More and more when you write about your daughter and being around her, what I feel when I read your posts, is love. Love on both sides. Strongly. That is what I feel. I feel it between the lines and I feel it through the computer. Honestly. Your posts exude love.
 

newstart

Well-Known Member
Copa, Your words are comforting. My anger comes from being lied to, the constant deceit and putting all that work into that house and having him back in it. He is worse than having 12 monkeys running free... I also really need to know why the need in me is so strong to help her. I feel like an idiot, a constant idiot.. She told me he was not living there, he just came over for lunch, then why did he leave his shoes there? Same stupid pattern over and over again. It's me. I have to learn on a deeper level. I have to study how to detach with love for the one millionth time. I am tired, I am hurt, I am grieved and I am beyond sad.. Why do I keep trying to help her and others that treat me like S.? Just for crumbs... It is rather pathetic. Today something shifted in me. I felt the shift. I am deeply sad but yet I felt the strength within to make changes that I have to make in order to make a good life. It is hell being an empath.
 
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