is addiction a choice?

[Big Bad Kitty]

From the point of view of an addict, I cannot even begin to explain what it feels like.

We see someone sipping on a glass of wine. We watch them and are like, "hello? ya gonna drink that? sometime this year?" We see someone put down a drink with half left in it and walk away. Our jaws hit the floor! THAT, my friends, is alcohol abuse!

THAT is what is hard wired, once the addiction takes over. There is no "going out for a beer" It is "going out to get -up drunk". If there was not enough alcohol to get me drunk, I would not start to drink. If there was not enough pot to get me high, I would not start to smoke. WAAAY back in the day, if there was not enough coke to keep me wired, I would not start to snort or freebase or shoot. No point in it!

Even as a sober person, I still don't get the point of drinking ONE beer. It makes absolutely no sense to me.

The world, therefore, is better off that I drink *ZERO* beers.

 

[DammitJanet]

BBK...see...that is the total difference in the mindset of a person with the addiction and the person without the addiction.

I, on the very rare occasions that I have a drink, stop at one or two and think nothing of it. It wouldnt cross my mind to leave a drink half finished on the table and walk away.

I can understand a man or a woman having a cold beer with a pizza or while watching a football game or after mowing the yard. I dont even like beer...but I get the idea.

Ya know what is funny? I decided one time on a whim that I wanted to have a glass of wine so I bought a bottle at the grocery store. Well...I brought it home and forgot I had it. Two years later I found that bottle!

 

[susiestar]

I am so sorry that your nephew is so poorly educated, and works at a facility for inmates with drinking problems/addictions! Poor inmates.

I hate that your relatives are so mean. Why on Earth do they think you need to hear these things? Send them to me, I'll quiet them down!

So many times I hear kids say, "I want to grow up and drink until I can't see straight. I want to lose every job I ever get, have my children fear me or hate me, and drag my family through heck."

RIIIIIIIGHT.

Addiction is not a choice. It just isn't. If it was, maybe we would hear little kids saying things like I typed above.

No one wants the life of an addict.

I will ocntinue to pray for you and ant. And Kaleb.

Hugs,

Susie

ps. I am rather glad that OH has mandatory jail time for repeat drunk drivers. I know when we moved 6 years ago it was not. We lived in the next county over from your nephew. A man in my neighborhood was on his 11th dui and still didn't get jail time, or even rehab. His lawyers got a suspended sentence from the judge and it made all the news stations and was picked up by the new services.

 

[Sunlight]

Thanks so much for the love sent out here. the support is greatly needed and has reinforced me and my stand on this.

also, yesterday I spoke to a counselor about this as well as other issues (the man is a doctor of psychology). he said the first use is a choice. in time, the substance takes over and rules the person and it is no longer a choice.

My nephew is going to get an education from me.

 

[PonyGirl]

one more thought....opinion....Addiction isn't a choice. I didn't choose to become an addict.

But I did have to choose to Recover.

Recovery IS a choice.

And no one can choose it but ME.

Peace

 

[tracy551]

My opinion.... I think addiction at first may be a choice but after a while it becomes an illness. My father is an alcoholic and has been for years (as long as I can remember) Everyone on my dad's side of the family drinks and it is from my 82 year old grandfather to my youngest cousins (many caught for under age drinking) But you know the stranges thing is in my 38 years I could never drink the way they do. I may have a social drink 2 or 3 times a year and husband is the same way. I hate the way it makes me feel.
My dad has been caught for DUI and has gone to AA but nothing has changed. See I chose not to become an alcoholic but my dad can not help it. He is ill and alcohol is his way thru.
Drug addiction is the same it is an illness. Drug addictes and alcohlics may not like they way things are and they may say everyday this is the last hit, but it is an overwhelming feeling they sometimes can not fight. And even if they do fight they would ALWAYS be classified as "RECOVERING"
I see patients in my office who come in pregnant and have been addicted to OTC and illegal drugs, they want to stop for the baby but can't no matter what we try to do for them. It's very sad but very real.

 

[Sunlight]

I gathered my info and emailed my nephew back some education on the subject. I think using is a choice, but for some the substance is addictive. thereafter, it takes over. no choice.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Amen, Janet.

 

[Ephchap]

Chiming in a bit late on this one.

Having dealt with my difficult child alcoholic brother, this is what I've observed.

It is definitely a disease. One has to choose to stay sober each and every day.

My brother was sober for 11 years, after about 6 or 7 years of sober/drunk stages. What possessed him to stop at the store to pick up a bottle after 11 years? Arghhh. No idea. That day, it was a choice. He chose to buy the alcohol. Once he took that first sip, however, it was no longer a choice. The disease/illness/addiction took over.

He would stay sober for a bit, but then I'd end up taking him to the local ER or the local short-term rehab. Each time he was sober and chose to buy another bottle, that's when I'd get angry with him.

Once sober, he chooses to buy that bottle of vodka. It's that first sip that angers me. He knows what it will do to him, to my mom, and to everyone around him. After that first sip, it's just all downhill. There is no choice after that, for him. His body "needs" the alcohol.

It's a vicious cycle.

So, I guess I'm of the mindset that addiction is not a choice. Buying/taking that first sip of alcohol (just like that first high of crack cocaine) is a choice. After that, it is no longer a choice. It is an addiction.

Deb

 

[Ephchap]

<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: goldenguru</div><div class="ubbcode-body">The old adage "You can lead a horse to water, but ya can't make it drink" applies well to treatment in my opinion.

</div></div>
I do agree with that, but only to a point. With my son, he'd have never even found the water if we hadn't "nudged" him. In the end, he agreed to the treatment, but we had to "nudge" him in the right direction.

I also agree that if they don't want to be there, that all the treatment in the world won't help. However, when they are still getting high, they are only concerned with their next high, not in getting treatment. Sometimes if they are minors, in particular, I wouldn't have been able to live with myself (and doubt my son would have lived through the drugging) if I hadn't done everything humanly possible to get him into treatment to save him from himself.

In my son's case, the 10 month stay at the dual-diagnostic facility helped. Initially he really didn't want to be there (though he had agreed to it, knowing it was that or jail), but through it all, he somehow took to everything he was being taught. I feel it saved his life.

Deb

 

[1905]

It's a choice to not drink, or do drugs. But when you're in the throws of the addiction-it's not a choice at all. There is no way out without help. I don't believe someone who works in a prison can be so uneducated on the subject of substance abuse. Don't the prisoners go through withdrawl? There be so many of them this happens to. Is there help for the prisoners? I really don't know that much about it. I guess if an addict tries not to "use", making a choice not to use, they feel bad. Then they have to. It's hard. People can be mean, drug addicts don't exactly earn the respect of others. We are sympathetic, many are not.(People who work with them should be, however!)-Alyssa

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Here's another ugly side to addiction.

An addict can realistically spend years in prison, not using drugs, but not recovering, if he chooses not to go to the meetings provided and work the steps. He can spend his time there in a dry drunk, miserable, counting the days till he can drink and drug again. And nobody can make him go. He has to want to. He can be there 10 years, and think he has the problem licked. But he will have been acting like as much of a jerk as he did when he was drinking. He'll get out and start using again, and be right back where he was. But, you can't "beat" addiction. It's with you forever.

 

[Sunlight]

so true, BBK. that was ant in jail. that was ant in Residential Treatment Center (RTC), he was just waiting for the day he could drink or drug again.

I did email my nephew some info. he works with this daily and needs to know but I think two things are at play with him:
he is a stubborn, self righteous, pompous butt.
he has been doing this for yrs and is hardened.

 

[TYLERFAN]

Hi:

Addiction is a choice? I have read some material to that conclusion, I disagree.
Addiction is like a set of compulsive choices, that's the way I see it. I think that medicine can sometimes curb those impulses, but the brain chemistry that causes them, remains.
I don't know if anyone else can make sense of this but it makes sense to me.

Blessings,
Melissa

 

[Sunlight]

my email to my nephew:

Jim,
I wanted to research more on your words that addiction is a choice.
Tony
has been a substance abuser since 13...used to be drugs, now alcohol.
He has been thru inpatient and out patient rehab, DUI school in two
counties, and various AA and NA mtgs and programs. He has also been
thru
three psychiatric groups, including an involuntary overnight evaluation at a
psychiatric hospital.

this past friday I met with a psychologist, he has his doctorate. he
said
addiction is not a choice. the first several uses may be, but for some
people, it sets off a craving and physical need for the substance.
very
hard to break from. the addict wants to quit in many cases but they
cannot
let go. the substance draws them in. their lifestyle revolves around
getting the substance and it changes the way they live. it also
creates
self loathing when they cannot break free and an attitude of "why
bother?"

they get in so deep that their life is truly ruined in many cases.
tony
has problem lost his license forever. he has already around 6 thousand
more
in fines and will have added about 20 thousand more this month when he
goes for sentencing. his credit is fried. his family is sick of him.
his
son is going on 4 and he cannot keep him or support him.

he doesnt choose all that. that comes with the addiction. some people
are
addicted to nicotine and hate that they cannot let go. some are
addicted
to food, sex, or drugs and alcohol. Most experts agree that addiction
is
not a choice.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
his email back to me:

There are many people who believe different things about addiction. It
is just what I feel about addiction, I'm not a psychiatrist or a doctor,
but I've worked with addicts for over 15 years now. "Choice Theory" has
been around for many years. For some it is about choice, for some it is
not. I've found that the more approaches to treatment the more
effective the recovery (shot gun approach).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

[Sondar]

When difficult child was 15 a drug counselor, herself a recovering alcoholic, told us that he was born an alcoholic. He had been in behavior disorder classrooms since 2nd grade. That made me so angry.

Just imagine a little 7-yr-old alcoholic running around without ever having touched a drop of alcohol. Kinda makes sense to me now.

BBK, your insights are particularly helpful to me because I still struggle with what it "feels" like to be him.

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

Sondar,

Feel free to PM me any time. Addiction is a baffling disease.

 

[branbran]

I'm so sorry about your cousin's son, what a tragedy!! God bless all of you.

I believe what BBK said is true, to pick up a drink or a drug in the first place is a choice, however, after that I don't believe there is much choice in an addiction. I also believe what Janet said is true, some of us are predisposed to addiction, depends on our genes. Either way it is very sad to watch a loved one give themselves to a life of drugs and alchohol. I know plenty of people who are getting high right this very minute. Like I said it is very sad. My step-brother and step-sister were both crack addicts for years. My step-sister is drug free only because she is very sick now and on oxygen, however my step-brother still relapses every so often, he almost lost his family. His wife has left him several times. I get very nervous with regards to my own difficult child, addiction runs rampid on her fathers side of the family.

My sympathy to you and your family. I will keep you in my prayers.