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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 723051" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>lbl. </p><p></p><p>my son does not want to quit mj. he pays lip service to stopping short term to comply in order to have a place to stay. but this is just a manipulation. abracadabra.</p><p></p><p>actually. i think he likes his lifestyle. his problem is housing.</p><p></p><p>he believes we should accomodate his rules and deceptions...while accomodating him. which is as i recall the attitude your son was exhibiting up until a week ago, was it?</p><p></p><p>my son over and over again plays this game. </p><p></p><p>this is what i believe: </p><p></p><p>never hurts us more than them. </p><p></p><p>this is a process. my son has been to treatment several times. he never bought in. maybe he has not suffered enough. maybe how he lives hurts me more than it does him. that's for sure.</p><p></p><p>i wish i had not let my son back until he completed treatment and could demonstrate he was clean. a baseline. at least that way we would have a place to stand.</p><p></p><p>nothing is served by letting them lie or manipulate us.</p><p></p><p>m told him tonight: the only way you can stay even one night more is get a test from a doctor tomorrow that will show levels. that way we can determine a trend.</p><p></p><p>yes. he is suffering, your son is. he needs his parents and his home. but does that mean he is able or willing to do what it takes? </p><p></p><p>i know he does not like where he is. but is that what is at stake?</p><p></p><p>this may take time and tries. i think you may be best served by a stance that i find excrutiatingly difficult: neutrality.</p><p></p><p>honestly. i know nothing. every time my son has left here he comes back worse. i know i cannot control or cure this.</p><p></p><p>i know one option would be to let him do what he wants. to give him housing and collect rent and he can live the way he wants.</p><p></p><p>but if he wants to do this he can live in subsidized housing away from me and my assistance. my help has conditions.</p><p></p><p>oh i hate this. i am so sad.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 723051, member: 18958"] lbl. my son does not want to quit mj. he pays lip service to stopping short term to comply in order to have a place to stay. but this is just a manipulation. abracadabra. actually. i think he likes his lifestyle. his problem is housing. he believes we should accomodate his rules and deceptions...while accomodating him. which is as i recall the attitude your son was exhibiting up until a week ago, was it? my son over and over again plays this game. this is what i believe: never hurts us more than them. this is a process. my son has been to treatment several times. he never bought in. maybe he has not suffered enough. maybe how he lives hurts me more than it does him. that's for sure. i wish i had not let my son back until he completed treatment and could demonstrate he was clean. a baseline. at least that way we would have a place to stand. nothing is served by letting them lie or manipulate us. m told him tonight: the only way you can stay even one night more is get a test from a doctor tomorrow that will show levels. that way we can determine a trend. yes. he is suffering, your son is. he needs his parents and his home. but does that mean he is able or willing to do what it takes? i know he does not like where he is. but is that what is at stake? this may take time and tries. i think you may be best served by a stance that i find excrutiatingly difficult: neutrality. honestly. i know nothing. every time my son has left here he comes back worse. i know i cannot control or cure this. i know one option would be to let him do what he wants. to give him housing and collect rent and he can live the way he wants. but if he wants to do this he can live in subsidized housing away from me and my assistance. my help has conditions. oh i hate this. i am so sad. [/QUOTE]
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