TL. I am so ambivalent. About my own son and about yours. I start out rambling about my son, which you can skip. But I think I wrote some useful stuff about your son's situation below. My son has NEVER helped himself when I have kicked him out. While he does not use hard drugs as far as I know, when he leaves he goes someplace else to be dependent, if he can. And while he has picked up bad habits such as cigarette smoking and marijuana, I am grateful he has not done worse. But that said, he did not do anything good. At first he tried to work some, but he cannot retain jobs. He looked good and is articulate but he is disorganized. And then he felt bad when he'd lose the jobs. So. Now he doesn't try. Except for the concrete, but the reality is he doesn't much want to work. I would be very afraid of this. I have another idea. This is assuming he has not relapsed. Something we do not know. What if we accept what he feels, that the welfare checks are intrusive. (Clearly egging the car, and the letter of trespass are off the wall, inappropriate and ineffective responses. ) But what if you support his presenting the issue to the program and negotiating something that he would not feel to be as onerous. This would reward in him, his proactive and appropriate problem-solving. There would be a risk to this. Because the program could say no. But an alternative would be that you broach it to the program, to see if there is something to be done to loosen but not eliminate the welfare check procedure. If you wanted. So it's not so "all or nothing." So far he is not walking away from the program. Maybe he won't. Yes. That's why I am hoping that a way could be found for them to work with him. By this egging stuff, and even the letter of trespass, he is communicating. Just very, very ineffectively. Maybe he wants to leave the program. But maybe he doesn't. But he wants a bit more freedom or privacy. Maybe it's possible. Maybe it's not. I don't want either one of you to be backed into a corner. It doesn't help. I don't know how I feel about the times I have asked my son to leave. I felt I didn't have options because he wasn't helping himself. But being in greater harm isn't helping either. Maybe these guys can't do better right now. I don't know TL. It sounds like he might be trying to get them to throw him out of the program. Or maybe it's a test. But who knows what result he wants. If it were me, I think my only condition would be that he keeps trying. Something. You said it. He want's to quit. Maybe this program isn't working as well for him as it is for you. If it's not working for him, that's worth hearing. And talking about. You've hung with him this long. Maybe it's worth staying in the game, and let him take the lead, as long as he keeps at it.