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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 685079" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>This is why I would not let my daughter move back in unless she went to rehab. I could not go to work every day wondering who was in my house, if she was doing drugs in the house, if she was stealing. I could not come home each night and have to spend my time looking and reassuring myself that it was ok for another day. I could not take the attitude, temper tantrums, disrespect, and ignoring of my rules and boundaries. In short, I could not be a prisoner in my own home. </p><p></p><p>We set firm, clear expectations of what she had to do in order to come to our house. When she refused, we knew she had no interest in changing - just taking what she could as long as she could. She has been kicked out of four places that tried to "help" her, not realizing she is beyond that kind of help. She has been arrested. She is drugging. </p><p></p><p>It was hard, hard, hard to turn her away. But had I let her back in, nothing would be any different except how much more she took from me - stress, my relationships with my husband, family, friends, my confidence, my rest, my joy - before she moved along. I have learned how resilient these kind of kids are. She always manages to get to the next stopping point, even if she never really moves forward. I came to the point where I accepted that the best thing I could do was continue to love her but detach and let her live her own choices elsewhere.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 685079, member: 19905"] This is why I would not let my daughter move back in unless she went to rehab. I could not go to work every day wondering who was in my house, if she was doing drugs in the house, if she was stealing. I could not come home each night and have to spend my time looking and reassuring myself that it was ok for another day. I could not take the attitude, temper tantrums, disrespect, and ignoring of my rules and boundaries. In short, I could not be a prisoner in my own home. We set firm, clear expectations of what she had to do in order to come to our house. When she refused, we knew she had no interest in changing - just taking what she could as long as she could. She has been kicked out of four places that tried to "help" her, not realizing she is beyond that kind of help. She has been arrested. She is drugging. It was hard, hard, hard to turn her away. But had I let her back in, nothing would be any different except how much more she took from me - stress, my relationships with my husband, family, friends, my confidence, my rest, my joy - before she moved along. I have learned how resilient these kind of kids are. She always manages to get to the next stopping point, even if she never really moves forward. I came to the point where I accepted that the best thing I could do was continue to love her but detach and let her live her own choices elsewhere. [/QUOTE]
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