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<blockquote data-quote="TheWalrus" data-source="post: 685089" data-attributes="member: 19905"><p>You can carefully word what you say. You cannot control how he reacts or interprets it. There are no perfect words that you can say that will guarantee the reaction you want. Obviously, there are words that can escalate the situation. </p><p></p><p>I would say, "The fire wasn't your fault and that is why we agreed to help you. You know this is temporary so (fill in the blank with your expectations). You have proven you can do it on your own and we have no doubt that you are going to be there again." You know him best but something along that line. </p><p></p><p>But I would not agonize over what you cannot control - his reaction. And if it goes badly, I would calmly remind him this is an example of why he needs to be on his own and end the conversation. Nothing gets through when people are upset or angry. Trying to continue the discussion makes them escalate and gives them opportunities to corner, manipulate and guilt you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="TheWalrus, post: 685089, member: 19905"] You can carefully word what you say. You cannot control how he reacts or interprets it. There are no perfect words that you can say that will guarantee the reaction you want. Obviously, there are words that can escalate the situation. I would say, "The fire wasn't your fault and that is why we agreed to help you. You know this is temporary so (fill in the blank with your expectations). You have proven you can do it on your own and we have no doubt that you are going to be there again." You know him best but something along that line. But I would not agonize over what you cannot control - his reaction. And if it goes badly, I would calmly remind him this is an example of why he needs to be on his own and end the conversation. Nothing gets through when people are upset or angry. Trying to continue the discussion makes them escalate and gives them opportunities to corner, manipulate and guilt you. [/QUOTE]
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