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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 762817" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Blighty,</p><p>Mahalo for your reply.</p><p></p><p>It is confusing. In the event that my daughter does sincerely wish to change her lifestyle, I would like to be there for her. The hard part is that relapse is always a possibility. Reconnecting becomes somewhat of a gamble. Especially since both of my daughters have been using for so long. It would take some pretty big steps on their end, for me to let my guard down. I can’t imagine being connected while my two are using. That didn’t work when hubs was alive. He would wash my eldest’s clothes, make her something to eat, then she would disappear back to the streets. It was heart-wrenching.I would never know what to expect coming home from work. I came home one day to find her and “friends” hanging out in my back yard. <img class="smilie smilie--emoji" loading="lazy" alt="😖" title="Confounded face :confounded:" src="https://cdn.jsdelivr.net/joypixels/assets/6.6/png/unicode/64/1f616.png" data-shortname=":confounded:" /> That was scary. It feels dangerous to be “connected” to loved ones who are off the rails with meth. That’s just my opinion and experience. My hubs cousin, in her 80’s tried to help her grandson. He wound up with meth psychosis and threatened to kill her. I don’t know what the “Craft” people would say to that. I found that the therapist who was counseling Tornado on one rehab stint was focused on connecting family to her without regard for what that meant for us. No bueno.</p><p></p><p>Yes, we matter. The old “put the oxygen mask on first” example. Self preservation. If the repercussions of my way-ward daughters choices take such a toll on my mental and physical well being, then I have to do something to protect myself. You are so right that it is a hard won attitude. I do love them so. But, I will not follow them down this path they have been on for so long. If and when they decide they have had enough, and show that by action, I will reconsider. In the meantime, I will leave them in Gods care, and pray for them to see their potential one day.</p><p>Thank you for your kindness,</p><p>Leaf</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 762817, member: 19522"] Hi Blighty, Mahalo for your reply. It is confusing. In the event that my daughter does sincerely wish to change her lifestyle, I would like to be there for her. The hard part is that relapse is always a possibility. Reconnecting becomes somewhat of a gamble. Especially since both of my daughters have been using for so long. It would take some pretty big steps on their end, for me to let my guard down. I can’t imagine being connected while my two are using. That didn’t work when hubs was alive. He would wash my eldest’s clothes, make her something to eat, then she would disappear back to the streets. It was heart-wrenching.I would never know what to expect coming home from work. I came home one day to find her and “friends” hanging out in my back yard. 😖 That was scary. It feels dangerous to be “connected” to loved ones who are off the rails with meth. That’s just my opinion and experience. My hubs cousin, in her 80’s tried to help her grandson. He wound up with meth psychosis and threatened to kill her. I don’t know what the “Craft” people would say to that. I found that the therapist who was counseling Tornado on one rehab stint was focused on connecting family to her without regard for what that meant for us. No bueno. Yes, we matter. The old “put the oxygen mask on first” example. Self preservation. If the repercussions of my way-ward daughters choices take such a toll on my mental and physical well being, then I have to do something to protect myself. You are so right that it is a hard won attitude. I do love them so. But, I will not follow them down this path they have been on for so long. If and when they decide they have had enough, and show that by action, I will reconsider. In the meantime, I will leave them in Gods care, and pray for them to see their potential one day. Thank you for your kindness, Leaf [/QUOTE]
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