Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
It's been about a year now we've been back into contact with K and the kids. When we first started talking to her I reserved judgement on what went on here, even questioned some of it, and held off judgement of her situation there. I figured time would make the situation more clear and so it has.
K is still very much the difficult child. Still very much her Dad's daughter. Still tries to manipulate (more subtle now), which still doesn't work, and still makes her mad. lol
The diagnosis of the chari malformation is suspect. And has been for quite a many months. I was very upset when she first told me, as any parent would be. But it wasn't all that long before the doubt crept in. I know this condition because I know someone living with it.....and have studied it in school. From what I'm hearing from K.....IF she has it, it must be the mild version as she swears docs tell her she's not bad enough for disability / while telling me they tell her she will die soon. She tells me her Mom demands her to go out and work that there is nothing wrong with her. This tells me alot as her mother has always over-reacted to K's medical needs. If the girl had the sniffles she ran her to the ER. She would never say such a thing if K was truly so ill.
So that is still hanging in the air. But I worry less and less about it as time goes on. I have no way to know one way or the other for certain. easy child believes she looked something up online that sounded good and that would excuse her behaviors. Maybe. It's possible. But I know she gives excuse after excuse and refuses to go to a neurologist to be treated for this life threatening condition. A fam doctor can not/will not attempt to treat it because of it's rarity. So her "diagnosis" is under suspicion.
K still swears there has never been any drug use. I've wanted to believe her, but I know better. Her own husband told her mother right after K came to live with us that K was on meth. He was in a panic afraid she had the baby (Kayla) around dealers. He was not the only source on the drug use. And I smelled meth in their apartment while they lived here. No way it wasn't. OMG I hope to never smell it again either.
K has made some slips over the past few months. For someone living off welfare.....money pops up unexpected for things. And I'd still like to know how they afford that darn motel room. K confessed to me that Evan's baby teeth....all of them......are rotting out of his mouth. Yet Kayla tells me (child's innocense) that they rarely get sweets/fast foods/pop. I'm suspect that Evan's rotten teeth are due to Mom's drug usage. K also is as thin as a rail. Gaunt nearly. Most especially for her. She has her Dad's large bone structure and is not petite in any sense. Weight has always been a struggle.....and she eats like a horse. She had no trouble gaining the weight back here when she was living with us despite the migraines....and started dropping it again when she moved to her own apartment.
I know her husband is violent. Known that since long before I met him. Multiple sources, most of whom had no reason to lie about it. I know from hearing him in the background when I'm on the phone with the grands, the way he talks to the grands, ect. Yet K swears he is not. Along with the accepting the perverted behaviors I've written about.
Over the months I've gotten subtle hints of the need for money, then asked for money.....all that jazz. Now I'm hearing the "kids" are upset their birthday cards and money got lost in the mail (probably stolen at the motel desk) and are anxiously awaiting the back up one. Back up one is going via certified letter and I just haven't gotten around to it yet with all mother in law junk going on. She also just gave me an email with the kids' sizes and said they needed clothes for school. Um Kayla's size hasn't changed at all, neither has Evans......they just received both summer/winter wardrobes when I sent off all those clothes.....where did they go? Alex is a growing boy. Fine. But no, I told her a while back I've not had time to yard sale this year nor the money. I won't be sending clothes anytime soon. And she even asked for school supplies.
I hear now from her she is "trying" to find a job and go to school........with non stop excuse as to why she can't do either. Had the stupidity to tell me a nursing home didn't want to hire her for house cleaning because of her seizures. I know better. Medical facilities are more understanding of that sort of thing than anyone else. Which is why I steered her in that direction. Her husband is supposedly looking for work.
Caught her in some big time lies. I'm supposed to be calling each sunday. I haven't spoken to the grands in a long time. First because of final's, then all this stuff with mother in law. I didn't say a word to K about forgetting. Yet each week she made up an excuse as to why the phone call couldn't get thru......then finally stated that Evan "broke" the phone again. Which is also why they can't get called back for interviews. I kept my mouth shut and let her keep digging that hole. Sort of the same way I'm doing with her medical diagnosis.
So......The clearer picture shows that nothing has really changed with K and that whole situation. I'm guessing she got into contact with us because she hoped to get stuff and or to come here (Kayla let that one slip).
Because I won't let her manipulate me, her emails are shorter and shorter. I haven't received one, except about the kids birthday, in quite a while. Each time there is the hint they desperately need money for this or for that and she attempts to use the kids (as she always has) to guilt me into giving it to her. I think she's finally catching on that it's not working.
I don't mind doing for the grands in the least bit. Which is why their back up birthday money will be sent via certified letter and I will know she got it. But I doubt I'll be sending a box of clothing anytime soon. Money just isn't there. And frankly I get weary of her sense of entitilement in that dept like it's my responsibility to clothe her kids.
So at almost 30 yrs old, K remains a difficult child. I doubt she will ever leave her husband or their condition will ever change unless it's for the worst. My heart aches for the grands, but there is nothing I can do to change it. At least I know they're alive, I get to speak to them on occasion, and get a chance to put a bright spot in their lives once in a while.
Because I'm Mom to difficult child's I can be happy with that.
K is still very much the difficult child. Still very much her Dad's daughter. Still tries to manipulate (more subtle now), which still doesn't work, and still makes her mad. lol
The diagnosis of the chari malformation is suspect. And has been for quite a many months. I was very upset when she first told me, as any parent would be. But it wasn't all that long before the doubt crept in. I know this condition because I know someone living with it.....and have studied it in school. From what I'm hearing from K.....IF she has it, it must be the mild version as she swears docs tell her she's not bad enough for disability / while telling me they tell her she will die soon. She tells me her Mom demands her to go out and work that there is nothing wrong with her. This tells me alot as her mother has always over-reacted to K's medical needs. If the girl had the sniffles she ran her to the ER. She would never say such a thing if K was truly so ill.
So that is still hanging in the air. But I worry less and less about it as time goes on. I have no way to know one way or the other for certain. easy child believes she looked something up online that sounded good and that would excuse her behaviors. Maybe. It's possible. But I know she gives excuse after excuse and refuses to go to a neurologist to be treated for this life threatening condition. A fam doctor can not/will not attempt to treat it because of it's rarity. So her "diagnosis" is under suspicion.
K still swears there has never been any drug use. I've wanted to believe her, but I know better. Her own husband told her mother right after K came to live with us that K was on meth. He was in a panic afraid she had the baby (Kayla) around dealers. He was not the only source on the drug use. And I smelled meth in their apartment while they lived here. No way it wasn't. OMG I hope to never smell it again either.
K has made some slips over the past few months. For someone living off welfare.....money pops up unexpected for things. And I'd still like to know how they afford that darn motel room. K confessed to me that Evan's baby teeth....all of them......are rotting out of his mouth. Yet Kayla tells me (child's innocense) that they rarely get sweets/fast foods/pop. I'm suspect that Evan's rotten teeth are due to Mom's drug usage. K also is as thin as a rail. Gaunt nearly. Most especially for her. She has her Dad's large bone structure and is not petite in any sense. Weight has always been a struggle.....and she eats like a horse. She had no trouble gaining the weight back here when she was living with us despite the migraines....and started dropping it again when she moved to her own apartment.
I know her husband is violent. Known that since long before I met him. Multiple sources, most of whom had no reason to lie about it. I know from hearing him in the background when I'm on the phone with the grands, the way he talks to the grands, ect. Yet K swears he is not. Along with the accepting the perverted behaviors I've written about.
Over the months I've gotten subtle hints of the need for money, then asked for money.....all that jazz. Now I'm hearing the "kids" are upset their birthday cards and money got lost in the mail (probably stolen at the motel desk) and are anxiously awaiting the back up one. Back up one is going via certified letter and I just haven't gotten around to it yet with all mother in law junk going on. She also just gave me an email with the kids' sizes and said they needed clothes for school. Um Kayla's size hasn't changed at all, neither has Evans......they just received both summer/winter wardrobes when I sent off all those clothes.....where did they go? Alex is a growing boy. Fine. But no, I told her a while back I've not had time to yard sale this year nor the money. I won't be sending clothes anytime soon. And she even asked for school supplies.
I hear now from her she is "trying" to find a job and go to school........with non stop excuse as to why she can't do either. Had the stupidity to tell me a nursing home didn't want to hire her for house cleaning because of her seizures. I know better. Medical facilities are more understanding of that sort of thing than anyone else. Which is why I steered her in that direction. Her husband is supposedly looking for work.
Caught her in some big time lies. I'm supposed to be calling each sunday. I haven't spoken to the grands in a long time. First because of final's, then all this stuff with mother in law. I didn't say a word to K about forgetting. Yet each week she made up an excuse as to why the phone call couldn't get thru......then finally stated that Evan "broke" the phone again. Which is also why they can't get called back for interviews. I kept my mouth shut and let her keep digging that hole. Sort of the same way I'm doing with her medical diagnosis.
So......The clearer picture shows that nothing has really changed with K and that whole situation. I'm guessing she got into contact with us because she hoped to get stuff and or to come here (Kayla let that one slip).
Because I won't let her manipulate me, her emails are shorter and shorter. I haven't received one, except about the kids birthday, in quite a while. Each time there is the hint they desperately need money for this or for that and she attempts to use the kids (as she always has) to guilt me into giving it to her. I think she's finally catching on that it's not working.
I don't mind doing for the grands in the least bit. Which is why their back up birthday money will be sent via certified letter and I will know she got it. But I doubt I'll be sending a box of clothing anytime soon. Money just isn't there. And frankly I get weary of her sense of entitilement in that dept like it's my responsibility to clothe her kids.
So at almost 30 yrs old, K remains a difficult child. I doubt she will ever leave her husband or their condition will ever change unless it's for the worst. My heart aches for the grands, but there is nothing I can do to change it. At least I know they're alive, I get to speak to them on occasion, and get a chance to put a bright spot in their lives once in a while.
Because I'm Mom to difficult child's I can be happy with that.
