Let's see

[newstart]

June 12 my daughter kicked out her worthless boyfriend. They still call each other and communicate but I think that is getting farther apart. Everyone that knows her says how much better she looks and acts. I was helping my daughter with a garage sale today and she got rid of all of his junk except for a large box. The boyfriend was like a hoarder, junk everywhere. I gave my daughter a well made and expensive BBQ propane grill. She enjoyed using it.. The boyfriend put coals in it and completely ruined it. Who puts coals in a propane grill? When I saw the mess, I was livid and then remember to tell myself that I gave it to my daughter, it was her gift and she is free to do whatever she wants with it. I think she too was amazed at the stupidity of someone sticking coals in a propane grill. Even now as I type this I am livid at how this man would ruin everything. Everything he touches turns to sh**. His best is awful, his best is 1/2 . I pray that she can meet someone that she can grow with.
I worked very hard at my daughter's garage sale, she really cleaned and cleared her house of things and it was refreshing to see her let go of things that needed to go, and I especially enjoyed watching the boyfriends things leave.
My daughter was not feeling well a few nights back so I spend the night. We had a nice talk, I felt as if the talk was mostly honest. I could tell she was emotionally hurt and told me some things. I see she is actively trying to keep her finances up, it has been hard on her since this COVID 19, It has been hard on all of us.

My husband is going to the wilderness for a 2 weeks with one of his best friends. They will be fishing camping and visiting different cities. They will be flying in a private plane. This little plane is very bumpy and I get sick in it so I will be staying home in the heat and humidity. I will miss him while he is gone but I think we both need the break from each other... It is very hard to catch a nap around here with him home.

 

[MissLulu]

It sounds like she is making real progress, Newstart. I know that, like me, you are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it really does seem that your daughter is taking steps in the right direction. Let's hope it stays this way. Try to enjoy your peace while it lasts. xxx

 

[newstart]

It sounds like she is making real progress, Newstart. I know that, like me, you are always waiting for the other shoe to drop, but it really does seem that your daughter is taking steps in the right direction. Let's hope it stays this way. Try to enjoy your peace while it lasts. xxx
[/QUOTE

Thank you MissLulu. I usually can't get too excited about my daughter's progress, there is always some sort of zig zag to her life. I see some forward motion and some genuine trying to make her ends meet and if I get too relaxed the other shoe does drop. At least in my home it will be quiet and peaceful. My husband is a great man but demanding at times and very spoiled (my fault). Hope you can get some peace from your worry over your son.

 

[Nomad]

I think it’s a great sign that she broke up with someone who was not good for her in any way. I’ve seen this type of thing before...often leads to much growth.

 

[newstart]

Thank you Nomad. I believe my daughter is seeing some sort of life coach because she is using different words like 'I deserve better than that' and 'he is almost 45 and I see no growth' and 'I just don't want to settle anymore'. But with my daughter, her life is always a huge zig zag. I pray so hard for improvement as we all want to see in our children. Hope you are doing well Nomad.

 

[JMom]

Newstart,
Good news about the garage sale, seems like she is clearing her head space along with his junk. I am so happy you spent the night and had some girl time. That is so important and bonding! I like her new language!

 

[newstart]

Thank you Jmom. Been waiting for an update from you to see how things are going. I pray for your safety and peace of mind. Hope things have been well for you.

 

[RN0441]

That is wonderful news Newstart! I sure hope she continues on her upward path!

What a relief for you.

 

[Beta]

Newstart, I'm glad to hear that there are some positives in your daughter's life but also that you are aware of the "zig zag" pattern and don't become too emotionally invested in the ups and downs. It's hard not to do that, but if we can remind ourselves to step back emotionally it is better for us and them I think. So hard to do that as moms, though.

 

[newstart]

Newstart, I'm glad to hear that there are some positives in your daughter's life but also that you are aware of the "zig zag" pattern and don't become too emotionally invested in the ups and downs. It's hard not to do that, but if we can remind ourselves to step back emotionally it is better for us and them I think. So hard to do that as moms, though.

The zig zag is going on full speed ahead. Good one day, Off the next and so forth. Yes I need to step back and out of the constant self made drama that my daughter thrives on.. Her conspiracy talking, politics and nonsense are on all time high. Her lies are so very obnoxious. I am wore out from them. She is marginal on a good day and very draining on an off day. I am climbing on in my years and I want to see a faster positive change, I know this is not on my time table but by the time a person is getting close to 40 they really need to have things in working order. I remember being completely grieved at my daughter's behavior at age 25, I had no idea someone could be that deeply immature at that age. So if my patience was thin when she was 25 I am afraid I will not have much patience at age 40. Still no evidence that her worthless boyfriend is living with her. I know they are still communicating. Still keeping each other in turmoil and confusion. I hope things are falling into place after your big move Beta.

 

[Beta]

I know the grief and frustration that comes when your child still doesn't have their life together as they grow older. Some people just thrive on drama and turmoil; they're not happy unless they have that going on in their lives. Unfortunately, their drama and turmoil isn't just confined to them!
We're still sorting things out a bit here. I have to say, moving to the south after being in the midwest for many years, especially in our neck of the woods, feels a little like moving to a different country, and a third-world one at that. The hardest part of a move is after you get everything unpacked and you don't have the busyness of that to distract you from the loneliness of being in a new place and not knowing anyone yet. It just takes time to build a life in a new place.

 

[newstart]

Beta, I am positive you will soon meet new good people and things will fall into place. And I do understand the lonesome feeling when your children are so far away and you just moved to a new town. I remember in one of your posts you had mentioned that your son did not give you his address and then gave you a bogus address. At age 38 my daughter still does that. I just asked her where her boyfriend moved to and she gave me his mother's old address. I asked her that question because I found out where he was living and wanted to know if she had grown out of the address lying but NOPE she still does it. If she was not renting her house from me she would give me a phony address. I wish you much peace as you go into your next journey.