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Life has turned again...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 760552" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Please don't tell yourself you lost him. Our kids all grow up and leave. We still see them unless they are difficult and cut us off...that is not the norm. Your son is only a few years from 18....then he can do what he wants anyway. With whom he wants.</p><p></p><p>Ask yourself if you would want to live with your son if he were not your son. Yes, it's different....then again is it? I'm no longer sure. Domestic abuse by child is devestating to us. More hurtful than by a spouse or anyone else.</p><p></p><p>You have a chance to heal now and start focusing on YOU....and those loved ones who are kind to you. So many times the troubled child takes all the air out of the room . And we give no time to ourselves and other lived ones. I didn't realize how much this was true until Kay left. Literally she was in my head 24/7. I started Nar Anon and therapy a few years before and it helped so much. I saw everything differently. Not that it was ever easy. It just grew more bearable. And my relationship with my husband, my two other kids, grands, and dear friends improved...I did a lot of apologizing, which in Nar Anon is called making amends.</p><p>I hope you reach out for real life help during this difficult times. You are not alone. Lots of kids of divorce who lived with Mom want to live with Dad as they become teens. Boys especially. But girls too. It's actually normal. They don't see our ex like we do. I think it's best to let them form that relationship. Their conclusions about ex...we can't control that. So maybe give it to God, if God is in your life.</p><p></p><p>I send prayers, hugs and love. Think of this as a time for you to get to know yourself again and don't hesitate to try therapy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 760552, member: 23706"] Please don't tell yourself you lost him. Our kids all grow up and leave. We still see them unless they are difficult and cut us off...that is not the norm. Your son is only a few years from 18....then he can do what he wants anyway. With whom he wants. Ask yourself if you would want to live with your son if he were not your son. Yes, it's different....then again is it? I'm no longer sure. Domestic abuse by child is devestating to us. More hurtful than by a spouse or anyone else. You have a chance to heal now and start focusing on YOU....and those loved ones who are kind to you. So many times the troubled child takes all the air out of the room . And we give no time to ourselves and other lived ones. I didn't realize how much this was true until Kay left. Literally she was in my head 24/7. I started Nar Anon and therapy a few years before and it helped so much. I saw everything differently. Not that it was ever easy. It just grew more bearable. And my relationship with my husband, my two other kids, grands, and dear friends improved...I did a lot of apologizing, which in Nar Anon is called making amends. I hope you reach out for real life help during this difficult times. You are not alone. Lots of kids of divorce who lived with Mom want to live with Dad as they become teens. Boys especially. But girls too. It's actually normal. They don't see our ex like we do. I think it's best to let them form that relationship. Their conclusions about ex...we can't control that. So maybe give it to God, if God is in your life. I send prayers, hugs and love. Think of this as a time for you to get to know yourself again and don't hesitate to try therapy [/QUOTE]
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