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Losing it
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 741595" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Lolag, I am so sorry - that sounds like a terrifying and upsetting experience. I've been in the middle of those kinds of scenes and it is awful. I'm so sorry you didn't get more help from the police. I never got help from them in DV situations either. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> It's a form of gaslighting, this ability to project such a calm and reasonable image to authorities and make you look and feel like the crazy one for calling. Telling you you'd better leave the door unlocked for him so he can come back - what the....? Really? That makes me so angry for you! You deserve to be able to protect yourself. </p><p></p><p>I hope you are able to get an eviction order and restraining order. In the meantime, I think a hidden camera sounds like a GREAT idea! I would call a DV hotline and see how they can advise you on working through the legal processes in your state and if they can connect you with an advocate who can help you. Swinging an axe around is HUGELY concerning, even if he was not threatening you with it directly. Someone who goes into these kinds of rages is dangerous, and absolutely should not be in your house. It is devastating when this is someone you love. My ex was prone to these kinds of rages and they were terrifying to live with and did escalate to physical. All of my older three have gone through periods of uncontrolled raging. Neither of my sons has ever hurt or threatened me, thank God, I think because they were very aware of their dad's legacy. But my daughter once tried to run me down with a car while in a blind rage like that. There is no reasoning with someone in that mode. </p><p></p><p>Big hugs to you. Do what you have to do to protect yourself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 741595, member: 23349"] Lolag, I am so sorry - that sounds like a terrifying and upsetting experience. I've been in the middle of those kinds of scenes and it is awful. I'm so sorry you didn't get more help from the police. I never got help from them in DV situations either. :( It's a form of gaslighting, this ability to project such a calm and reasonable image to authorities and make you look and feel like the crazy one for calling. Telling you you'd better leave the door unlocked for him so he can come back - what the....? Really? That makes me so angry for you! You deserve to be able to protect yourself. I hope you are able to get an eviction order and restraining order. In the meantime, I think a hidden camera sounds like a GREAT idea! I would call a DV hotline and see how they can advise you on working through the legal processes in your state and if they can connect you with an advocate who can help you. Swinging an axe around is HUGELY concerning, even if he was not threatening you with it directly. Someone who goes into these kinds of rages is dangerous, and absolutely should not be in your house. It is devastating when this is someone you love. My ex was prone to these kinds of rages and they were terrifying to live with and did escalate to physical. All of my older three have gone through periods of uncontrolled raging. Neither of my sons has ever hurt or threatened me, thank God, I think because they were very aware of their dad's legacy. But my daughter once tried to run me down with a car while in a blind rage like that. There is no reasoning with someone in that mode. Big hugs to you. Do what you have to do to protect yourself. [/QUOTE]
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