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Losing it
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 741624" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>You'd think, but...</p><p></p><p>I agree, he has committed a crime by threatening her and her property with a deadly weapon. But the police officer responding apparently didn't think there was enough evidence to charge him with anything at the time, and that makes the burden of proof that much higher. And the burden of proof is on the victim here.</p><p></p><p>I got NO help from the police or courts. Restraining orders here aren't given just because you ask for one - you have to demonstrate proof of immediate credible threat or ongoing persistent harassment. At most, you might be able to get a temporary order (usually 10 days) while waiting for a real hearing. But at the real hearing they expect more than "he said/she said." Without tapes, holes in the walls or other physical damage, bruises or other evidence of direct harm, written or electronic correspondence showing threats, etc. it may not be easy to just slap a restraining order on someone. Innocent until proven guilty, and all that. And, of course, a restraining order is only as good as the person's willingness to comply with it. It's only paper protection - it gives you something to use in court against them if they continue to offend, but it's not going to keep you safe from a determined abuser.</p><p></p><p>That's part of what makes domestic abuse so difficult and so insidious. I think a local DV agency would have the best advice on how to proceed here and what to do to increase the odds of getting some kind of legal protection and getting him out of the house ASAP.</p><p></p><p>I think I might be tempted just to throw him out and change the locks, legal issues around tenants' rights be damned. He could sue for access, but he'd have to take that step, and then you'd have the opportunity to explain in court why you took the actions you did. That can all be sorted out later. Safety is of primary importance here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 741624, member: 23349"] You'd think, but... I agree, he has committed a crime by threatening her and her property with a deadly weapon. But the police officer responding apparently didn't think there was enough evidence to charge him with anything at the time, and that makes the burden of proof that much higher. And the burden of proof is on the victim here. I got NO help from the police or courts. Restraining orders here aren't given just because you ask for one - you have to demonstrate proof of immediate credible threat or ongoing persistent harassment. At most, you might be able to get a temporary order (usually 10 days) while waiting for a real hearing. But at the real hearing they expect more than "he said/she said." Without tapes, holes in the walls or other physical damage, bruises or other evidence of direct harm, written or electronic correspondence showing threats, etc. it may not be easy to just slap a restraining order on someone. Innocent until proven guilty, and all that. And, of course, a restraining order is only as good as the person's willingness to comply with it. It's only paper protection - it gives you something to use in court against them if they continue to offend, but it's not going to keep you safe from a determined abuser. That's part of what makes domestic abuse so difficult and so insidious. I think a local DV agency would have the best advice on how to proceed here and what to do to increase the odds of getting some kind of legal protection and getting him out of the house ASAP. I think I might be tempted just to throw him out and change the locks, legal issues around tenants' rights be damned. He could sue for access, but he'd have to take that step, and then you'd have the opportunity to explain in court why you took the actions you did. That can all be sorted out later. Safety is of primary importance here. [/QUOTE]
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