N
Nomad
Guest
Steely,
I'm so very sorry. I have felt something extremely similar to what you are feeling and it hurts very badly.
The link Suz provided is excellent. Consider printing it out and read each item carefully...each section is so helpful.
I particularly like the 'poem' called "Letting Go." The first line says "To 'let go' does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else.
It ends with "To 'let go' is to fear less and to love myself more.
For me, I still 'care,' but do not care for the drama/trauma and it got to the point that I just wasn't going to put up with it anymore.
I still have moments where things tug at my heart...I have a 'mommy heart.'
But what is the definition of insanity? Doing the same things and expecting a different result...I can't and wont do the same things anymore.
So....we have learned to help difficult child when and where we can...when and where it will NOT hurt us and also if she is respectful to us. We also make every effort to gently push difficult child to do what she can to help herself. If she neglects to make real efforts to help herself, then we pull back. There are times that we use 'tough love' and it hurts...but I do not see any point in not allowing difficult child to face reality. It is part of the learning process and I'm not going to get in the way.
It is my own personal responsibility (it is on me) to cope with the losses involved in all of this. Sure, I do wish it were different...but 'it is what it is.'
So, taking personal responsibility, I have learned a variety of coping mechanisms, seen a therapist and have tapped into my spiritual side.
in my humble opinion you crave a release from this stress, simply because it is not healthy for you to be in this constant state of stress. It is not healthy for you and believe it or not, it is not serving your son either.
So, your discomfort is simply your mind and body letting you know that you need to make a change....you sense it with every fiber of your being.
I hope that you have a support group...spouse, good friends, perhaps a therapist to help ease the stresses involved.
husband and I got some good insight from Family Anonymous Mtgs.
I wouldn't overly worry about the doctors not listening to you, but you might ask difficult child if he is happy with his doctors and feels they are helping him.
As a mom, you might want to be supportive (as long as it doesn't hurt you), but encourage difficult child to fix his own messes. Draw a line. Shake out that excess emotion and stand firm. Take a good look at the toll all of this drama does to your life and make a decision to let it go.
Your son might end up with many doctors and sooner or later, he will have a good one. And my guess is, each one has provided some good therapy...and improvements should have been made along the way.
Some say that relapses are nothing to be feared...they are actually to be expected. As time progresses, hopefully, they will lesson and then stop.
As far as your pain is considered, I do hope you will consider turning over your burden to the doctors and your Higher Power...
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way...
I'm so very sorry. I have felt something extremely similar to what you are feeling and it hurts very badly.
The link Suz provided is excellent. Consider printing it out and read each item carefully...each section is so helpful.
I particularly like the 'poem' called "Letting Go." The first line says "To 'let go' does not mean to stop caring; it means I can't do it for someone else.
It ends with "To 'let go' is to fear less and to love myself more.
For me, I still 'care,' but do not care for the drama/trauma and it got to the point that I just wasn't going to put up with it anymore.
I still have moments where things tug at my heart...I have a 'mommy heart.'
But what is the definition of insanity? Doing the same things and expecting a different result...I can't and wont do the same things anymore.
So....we have learned to help difficult child when and where we can...when and where it will NOT hurt us and also if she is respectful to us. We also make every effort to gently push difficult child to do what she can to help herself. If she neglects to make real efforts to help herself, then we pull back. There are times that we use 'tough love' and it hurts...but I do not see any point in not allowing difficult child to face reality. It is part of the learning process and I'm not going to get in the way.
It is my own personal responsibility (it is on me) to cope with the losses involved in all of this. Sure, I do wish it were different...but 'it is what it is.'
So, taking personal responsibility, I have learned a variety of coping mechanisms, seen a therapist and have tapped into my spiritual side.
in my humble opinion you crave a release from this stress, simply because it is not healthy for you to be in this constant state of stress. It is not healthy for you and believe it or not, it is not serving your son either.
So, your discomfort is simply your mind and body letting you know that you need to make a change....you sense it with every fiber of your being.
I hope that you have a support group...spouse, good friends, perhaps a therapist to help ease the stresses involved.
husband and I got some good insight from Family Anonymous Mtgs.
I wouldn't overly worry about the doctors not listening to you, but you might ask difficult child if he is happy with his doctors and feels they are helping him.
As a mom, you might want to be supportive (as long as it doesn't hurt you), but encourage difficult child to fix his own messes. Draw a line. Shake out that excess emotion and stand firm. Take a good look at the toll all of this drama does to your life and make a decision to let it go.
Your son might end up with many doctors and sooner or later, he will have a good one. And my guess is, each one has provided some good therapy...and improvements should have been made along the way.
Some say that relapses are nothing to be feared...they are actually to be expected. As time progresses, hopefully, they will lesson and then stop.
As far as your pain is considered, I do hope you will consider turning over your burden to the doctors and your Higher Power...
Sending good thoughts and prayers your way...
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