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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 743799" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>This is so healthy, Lil. </p><p></p><p>But then if I remember correctly you were an only child with loving parents. And from everything you write your temperament is direct but easy going. Not everybody was raised in such a family or has such a g-d given temperament.</p><p>This makes me laugh. I can feel the pain of it. Over 30 years ago a kid at the beach referred to me as pregnant when I must have been size 10 and no more than 135 lbs. It wounded me to the core. Which is really the point you make. Why in life would I allow myself to be defined by a stupid idiot thoughtless kid.</p><p>And this is the other excellent point you make. Is our attitudes towards the motivations of others, which we control. We have broad leeway in how we interpret the underlying thoughts of others...which we project...from our own insecurities and assumptions about life. Witness my own use of the intention to obliterate, to stick pins in me, to kill me off.... Which exist only in me. I have projected these thoughts, when others are only flawed or unthinking humans. </p><p>And your final point is the best of all! The motivation to and skill to remedy conflict, and to mend together the group. Which is always possible and available if we remember. Not only does there not have to be conflict, when there is the risk of it, we can jump in and save us all; like a rescue net. Every mistake does not mean the bottom has to drop off. We can come to the rescue. Thank you Lil. Brilliant post.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 743799, member: 18958"] This is so healthy, Lil. But then if I remember correctly you were an only child with loving parents. And from everything you write your temperament is direct but easy going. Not everybody was raised in such a family or has such a g-d given temperament. This makes me laugh. I can feel the pain of it. Over 30 years ago a kid at the beach referred to me as pregnant when I must have been size 10 and no more than 135 lbs. It wounded me to the core. Which is really the point you make. Why in life would I allow myself to be defined by a stupid idiot thoughtless kid. And this is the other excellent point you make. Is our attitudes towards the motivations of others, which we control. We have broad leeway in how we interpret the underlying thoughts of others...which we project...from our own insecurities and assumptions about life. Witness my own use of the intention to obliterate, to stick pins in me, to kill me off.... Which exist only in me. I have projected these thoughts, when others are only flawed or unthinking humans. And your final point is the best of all! The motivation to and skill to remedy conflict, and to mend together the group. Which is always possible and available if we remember. Not only does there not have to be conflict, when there is the risk of it, we can jump in and save us all; like a rescue net. Every mistake does not mean the bottom has to drop off. We can come to the rescue. Thank you Lil. Brilliant post. [/QUOTE]
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