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My cousin is driving me even crazier
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 410442" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am very sorry. Maybe if you record a conversation about it the therapist can work with her on the issue.</p><p> </p><p>The next may seem like "dirty pool" or like being mean. I am NOT suggesting it just to make your life easier. It really can make necessary things much easier for the elderly patient too. When my adopted gpa was really down the road into dementia he could get quite violent when upset. Not out of a desire to hurt anyone, really, but because he got so overwhelmed an upset and then angry about being overwhelmed and upset. I could get him to do a LOT of things with much less fuss than others did. I just said that he had asked to do it, or that we had already talked together and he wanted whatever it was.</p><p> </p><p>I hated lying to him, but saw no point and nothing remotely positive in having him get that upset about things. He hadn't agreed and we hadn't talked about it. If I had been truthful he would have been horribly upset and then not gotten things he truly needed to do or have done or we would have had to get orderlies to make him comply and/or medicate him into submission.</p><p> </p><p>Some of the staff at the nursing home really objected because "lying is wrong" and I was tricking him. On some levels they were right. But there way meant he had to take a LOT more medication and he got hurt a lot more - either by thrashing around and hitting things or by the staff having to force him to comply.</p><p> </p><p>He was at the point where he wasn't going to remember what I said in a few minutes or hours anyway and it meant he was happier and healthier and he didn't upset the staff as much - so they were nicer to him when we were not there.</p><p> </p><p>If this is something that might help you with P, I hope you can use it. If it would only upset her more, then of course something else should be done. I am not saying what I did was a great thing, but I know it wasn't wrong. Know what I mean??</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 410442, member: 1233"] I am very sorry. Maybe if you record a conversation about it the therapist can work with her on the issue. The next may seem like "dirty pool" or like being mean. I am NOT suggesting it just to make your life easier. It really can make necessary things much easier for the elderly patient too. When my adopted gpa was really down the road into dementia he could get quite violent when upset. Not out of a desire to hurt anyone, really, but because he got so overwhelmed an upset and then angry about being overwhelmed and upset. I could get him to do a LOT of things with much less fuss than others did. I just said that he had asked to do it, or that we had already talked together and he wanted whatever it was. I hated lying to him, but saw no point and nothing remotely positive in having him get that upset about things. He hadn't agreed and we hadn't talked about it. If I had been truthful he would have been horribly upset and then not gotten things he truly needed to do or have done or we would have had to get orderlies to make him comply and/or medicate him into submission. Some of the staff at the nursing home really objected because "lying is wrong" and I was tricking him. On some levels they were right. But there way meant he had to take a LOT more medication and he got hurt a lot more - either by thrashing around and hitting things or by the staff having to force him to comply. He was at the point where he wasn't going to remember what I said in a few minutes or hours anyway and it meant he was happier and healthier and he didn't upset the staff as much - so they were nicer to him when we were not there. If this is something that might help you with P, I hope you can use it. If it would only upset her more, then of course something else should be done. I am not saying what I did was a great thing, but I know it wasn't wrong. Know what I mean?? [/QUOTE]
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My cousin is driving me even crazier
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