Hello Friends
Although I lurk everyday, I do not post often. My difficult child is now 22. Since high school, she has been attending community college, not always successfully. Although much improved from her early years, after age 19 things got difficult again. She wasn't focused on school, traded in a paid up car for a trendy new one with a car note and was on her way to trouble. I wasn't going through that again.
She was stunned when I started eviction proceedings (I had to do that legally to get her out of the house). Her car was repossessed when her hours were cut at the restaurant where she worked and she couldn't pay the note (and I wouldn't help financially). Her father made it clear that she couldn't come live with him. And all of those friends she was riding around in her trendy car disappeared.
She got it together somehow. For over a year she has been riding the bus to school and to work. I refuse to help financially with another car. She is respectful to my boyfriend. She does her chores. And she changed her circle of friends (again!).
She changed community colleges (since she didn't have a car, she needed one more accessible by bus) and has done really well. A month ago, she was accepted by the 4 year college of her choice. She is transferring to college in another state. My sister and her family live in the same city, so she will have some family there. I'm actually very proud of her since she did this mostly on her own.
So, I will have an empty nest in the fall. Some of the kids my difficult child went to school with are graduating from college this summer. We talked about how her choices prevented her from finishing college now. One thing she said was true: "Mom, everyone has to go at their own pace."
Although I lurk everyday, I do not post often. My difficult child is now 22. Since high school, she has been attending community college, not always successfully. Although much improved from her early years, after age 19 things got difficult again. She wasn't focused on school, traded in a paid up car for a trendy new one with a car note and was on her way to trouble. I wasn't going through that again.
She was stunned when I started eviction proceedings (I had to do that legally to get her out of the house). Her car was repossessed when her hours were cut at the restaurant where she worked and she couldn't pay the note (and I wouldn't help financially). Her father made it clear that she couldn't come live with him. And all of those friends she was riding around in her trendy car disappeared.
She got it together somehow. For over a year she has been riding the bus to school and to work. I refuse to help financially with another car. She is respectful to my boyfriend. She does her chores. And she changed her circle of friends (again!).
She changed community colleges (since she didn't have a car, she needed one more accessible by bus) and has done really well. A month ago, she was accepted by the 4 year college of her choice. She is transferring to college in another state. My sister and her family live in the same city, so she will have some family there. I'm actually very proud of her since she did this mostly on her own.
So, I will have an empty nest in the fall. Some of the kids my difficult child went to school with are graduating from college this summer. We talked about how her choices prevented her from finishing college now. One thing she said was true: "Mom, everyone has to go at their own pace."
