IC, LOLOL you give mom WAY too much credit for living in reality. She is happy in De Nial and no way will she recognize that. IF she ever talks dad out of the house she would give away sentimental things. He won't budge, so she won't have to cope with it. My mom actually thinks she can talk me into a big "family" holiday on xmas this coming year. I couldn't believe it when she said it, and didn't comment at all.
My Mom
- Thread starter Hound dog
- Start date
Hound dog
Nana's are Beautiful
Personally? I was hoping Mom would go out and do all the things she ever wanted to do after step dad passed away.......thereby blowing the money that had been put back for such travels and good times. I was a bit surprised when she didn't, but then she did have some health issues that have since been cleared up. And to be honest, she really doesn't want to do those things alone. Can't say I blame her, not so sure I would either.
I'm all for her using every red cent she has. Otherwise whomever gets stuck with the job of executor is in for a nightmare. That was me at one time, changed to sis in Texas husband, is changing again.......she didn't specify and I didn't ask. Sentimental items have already been handed out to those who were interested in having them. I received quite a bit.......I'm somewhat the family "historian" sentimental slob or whatever. lol Nothing of monetary value really at all.
The only thing I can't get her to change her mind on is inheritance to her kids. Drives me nuts. When she sold the home we grew up in (at a hefty profit, home had cost 5k and sold for 30k) she put that money into CDs during her 3rd marriage. After that one ended, she used it to buy a new home.......... When she sold that home quite some time later, again the money went back into CDs. It had come to a nice little sum. At least I was surprised. She is determined that money is us kids money. Now how or why she decided this I have no clue. We had nothing to do with either house except to live in them. But like I said, she refuses to change her mind. During that whole mess with the will and whatnot after 4 th husband died........Mom was living on basically nothing, when she could've used the house money she is so determined comes to us. Made me want to pound my head in a wall. Because she was really hurting financially during that period.
Why do older people tend to do this? I don't get it. They earn the money. They save the money. Why on earth do they hold on to it to the extreme just so their kids (who had nothing to do with either earning or saving) get it after their gone. It's their money, for pete's sake! mother in law did the same thing until health forced her to let go of her plans. She was more upset about that than going into assisted living and the nursing home. omg
Got news for my kids........I don't feel that way. Just as I didn't feel obligated in the least to pay their college, I don't feel obligated in the least to leave them a wad of cash when I'm gone. IF there is a wad of cash at all?? I plan to live it up until it's gone doing all the things I ever wanted to do. Of course the way things are going they'll be lucky they don't wind up inheriting a mountain of bills. LOL
Mom so far is having transportation issues to get to a lawyer. Hopefully that resolves itself soon.
I'm all for her using every red cent she has. Otherwise whomever gets stuck with the job of executor is in for a nightmare. That was me at one time, changed to sis in Texas husband, is changing again.......she didn't specify and I didn't ask. Sentimental items have already been handed out to those who were interested in having them. I received quite a bit.......I'm somewhat the family "historian" sentimental slob or whatever. lol Nothing of monetary value really at all.
The only thing I can't get her to change her mind on is inheritance to her kids. Drives me nuts. When she sold the home we grew up in (at a hefty profit, home had cost 5k and sold for 30k) she put that money into CDs during her 3rd marriage. After that one ended, she used it to buy a new home.......... When she sold that home quite some time later, again the money went back into CDs. It had come to a nice little sum. At least I was surprised. She is determined that money is us kids money. Now how or why she decided this I have no clue. We had nothing to do with either house except to live in them. But like I said, she refuses to change her mind. During that whole mess with the will and whatnot after 4 th husband died........Mom was living on basically nothing, when she could've used the house money she is so determined comes to us. Made me want to pound my head in a wall. Because she was really hurting financially during that period.
Why do older people tend to do this? I don't get it. They earn the money. They save the money. Why on earth do they hold on to it to the extreme just so their kids (who had nothing to do with either earning or saving) get it after their gone. It's their money, for pete's sake! mother in law did the same thing until health forced her to let go of her plans. She was more upset about that than going into assisted living and the nursing home. omg
Got news for my kids........I don't feel that way. Just as I didn't feel obligated in the least to pay their college, I don't feel obligated in the least to leave them a wad of cash when I'm gone. IF there is a wad of cash at all?? I plan to live it up until it's gone doing all the things I ever wanted to do. Of course the way things are going they'll be lucky they don't wind up inheriting a mountain of bills. LOL
Mom so far is having transportation issues to get to a lawyer. Hopefully that resolves itself soon.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
Your kids wont end up with any bills except for the funeral expenses and you can prepay that if you so wish.
Your mom is one smart cookie if she can manage to put money into CD's, especially several years ago when interest rates were a bit higher and she put them in for long terms. My dad put my inheritance into a CD for me so I didnt have to deal with anything after his death. It didnt even mature until after his death and the interest rate was higher than any rate going at the time he died. Now when it will mature, I have got to cash it in and do something else with it because the interest rates now are like .08 percent and to lock my money in for another 5 years at that would be nuts. Its not like she cant pull the interest off if she desperately needs it even if she will take a penalty.
She needs to put her money in bank accounts with her name for XXXX upon her death. Not that the person can get the money now but upon her death. That way she is assured the person cant get her money now. Its easy to do this. Even my bank accounts are set up that way in case I croak. I did this after my meningitis and I worried that no one could access my accounts. Not that I have much in there but they would need what little is there.
Your mom is one smart cookie if she can manage to put money into CD's, especially several years ago when interest rates were a bit higher and she put them in for long terms. My dad put my inheritance into a CD for me so I didnt have to deal with anything after his death. It didnt even mature until after his death and the interest rate was higher than any rate going at the time he died. Now when it will mature, I have got to cash it in and do something else with it because the interest rates now are like .08 percent and to lock my money in for another 5 years at that would be nuts. Its not like she cant pull the interest off if she desperately needs it even if she will take a penalty.
She needs to put her money in bank accounts with her name for XXXX upon her death. Not that the person can get the money now but upon her death. That way she is assured the person cant get her money now. Its easy to do this. Even my bank accounts are set up that way in case I croak. I did this after my meningitis and I worried that no one could access my accounts. Not that I have much in there but they would need what little is there.
Lisa, I think part of it is because of the Depression. I have found that those who lived through the Depression or had parents who lived through it, often have this determination to make sure they leave money for their kids. The closest I have come to a real explanation is that after living through the depression and wondering when or where or even if they would get a next meal, they wan to leave a substantial amount so that their kids never experience that.
Or it could be something else entirely.
As for transpo issues, many areas have a bus or taxi system that will help the elderly get to appointments of all kinds. Some are just a discount on a taxi, othes are special transportation systems. If you call legal aid or social security in her area, they may be able to help with transportation.
Or it could be something else entirely.
As for transpo issues, many areas have a bus or taxi system that will help the elderly get to appointments of all kinds. Some are just a discount on a taxi, othes are special transportation systems. If you call legal aid or social security in her area, they may be able to help with transportation.
