The chains others shackle us with. My Difficult Child didnt have children, thank God, but she was enabled by many others because they believed her false narratives and manipulative behavior. For several years I tried to get family and friends to realize my Difficult Child is seriously mentally ill and needed encouragement to get help. (A string of rich abusive men enable these destructive behaviors for years). My Difficult Child, 41, has been asked to leave every one of these well meaning folks. My beautiful, once kind gentle spirited Difficult Child now makes similar accusations about them.
I guess what I am saying is that your dad can't understand until he experiences reality. There is always the possibility it could be beneficial to them. Maybe your Difficult Child will find worth in helping her grand.
I had to set boundaries when others wanted to share their stories about my DCs behavior, as I had already lived them. I told them that it was their choice to try and I did love them for their intentions, but to leave me out of it. All I needed to know was if my Difficult Child was alive or moving forward as a result of their intervention. That was years ago now.
I am concerned for the welfare of your DCs children. From what you describe, your Difficult Child lacks the ability to care for them. Is it possible to put the infant up for adoption? I cant imagine what this must be like for you.
In healing, Blindsided
I am holding you in my thoughts.
