To any one who has had a difficult child come home from placement.... I need help writhing a contract for a 17 year old set to come home in Nov. I'm not very good at stuff like that and I don't know where to begin. Are there any web sites any one knows of for examples? Thanks for your help. (P.S. he will be 18 in May 2008)
Need help with contract...
- Thread starter tracy551
- Start date
Suz
(the future) MRS. GERE
Tracy, tell us what's happening now. Is he transitioning home- kind of a step-down arrangement where he is coming home for weekends/holidays, etc?
What are their expectations?
What are YOUR expectations? Have you had a sit down with your husband to decide what YOU want?
Every family has different expectations. Once Rob was done with his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) he then went to a group home for a year. By that time he was 19 and never moved home again. I know that if he had, safety would have been a primary concern, as would no drugs/alcohol. If he's still in school you would need to outline your expectation there as well.
When we had contracts with Rob we had our expectation and the consequence on it in writing. It really helped to have everything outlined. And everyone signed and dated the contract.
We also let Rob have input in both the expectation area and the consequence area. That way, when he got in trouble we could say, "you decided this as much as we did." It shut him up pretty quick. lol
Unfortunately, contracts aren't foolproof and they don't deter bad behavior if the kid is determined (like Rob was) to be a difficult child.
Anyway, tell us more about where you are and what your expectations are and maybe we can help you drum up a workable plan.
Suz
What are their expectations?
What are YOUR expectations? Have you had a sit down with your husband to decide what YOU want?
Every family has different expectations. Once Rob was done with his Residential Treatment Center (RTC) he then went to a group home for a year. By that time he was 19 and never moved home again. I know that if he had, safety would have been a primary concern, as would no drugs/alcohol. If he's still in school you would need to outline your expectation there as well.
When we had contracts with Rob we had our expectation and the consequence on it in writing. It really helped to have everything outlined. And everyone signed and dated the contract.
We also let Rob have input in both the expectation area and the consequence area. That way, when he got in trouble we could say, "you decided this as much as we did." It shut him up pretty quick. lol
Unfortunately, contracts aren't foolproof and they don't deter bad behavior if the kid is determined (like Rob was) to be a difficult child.
Anyway, tell us more about where you are and what your expectations are and maybe we can help you drum up a workable plan.
Suz
goldenguru
Active Member
The Residential Treatment Center (RTC) should have many, many, many ideas about this. When our daughter came home (after 16 months) she came home with a 2 page contract. It was devised by herself, her therapist and the entire treatment team. It was sent home to us for revisions several times before it was signed and dated.
I would speak with his staff about this.
I would speak with his staff about this.
DammitJanet
Well-Known Member
I have a contract I used with Cory when he was coming home but its on my other computer. I will log on to it in the morning and print it out on here then.
witzend
Well-Known Member
I would say that you have some good advice so far. Hopefully the contract will recognize that things aren't going to be perfect from the beginning, and have differing levels of consequences for different "infractions". For example, getting high in the bedroom should be handled differently than not cleaning up after making a snack.
From experience, I would say to be careful to not make any deals you can't live with. I you are (or are not) going to kick difficult child out for something, don't put it in the contract if you can't live with it. I hope that you will work with the therapists now and after difficult child comes home, and that you are comfortable with them.
I hope that this will be the beginning of a new and better relationship with your difficult child.
From experience, I would say to be careful to not make any deals you can't live with. I you are (or are not) going to kick difficult child out for something, don't put it in the contract if you can't live with it. I hope that you will work with the therapists now and after difficult child comes home, and that you are comfortable with them.
I hope that this will be the beginning of a new and better relationship with your difficult child.
KFld
New Member
I think it's very important that you don't list anything you cannot follow through on. They have to be realistic and you have to decide up front what the consequences will be and follow through if broken.
I agree with talking to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Ask them what type of rules you think should be set up. They may have some more realistic ones.
I agree with talking to the Residential Treatment Center (RTC). Ask them what type of rules you think should be set up. They may have some more realistic ones.
