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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 755977" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>Hi. I am really sorry that you are so worried, due to what you have seen before. My own viewpoint is just mine and not worth much, but it is also due to my experiences with my difficult daughter. Don't we all give advice that is a little of our own experience?</p><p></p><p>Anyhow I would not speak my fears for many reasons. One is that you may sound as if you don't believe he can be successful and each day is a brand new start. He may be at a point where he can do it. Another reason is because this is his life and decision, not yours. If he relapses he does. Yes, it is hard on us, but you have the choice of not listening to him if he relapses and refusing to enable him with money. It only becomes your problem if you allow it to be. I used to let her problems be mine. I stopped. So has my husband. She didn't listen to us anyway and the money we gave her made her lazy and entitled. We gave her everything and she.blew it all.</p><p></p><p>Do you see a therapist or go to Al Anon? I found both extremely helpful. This is such a hard path and I truly don't know how parents can do this without outside support. If anyone, even shy people, don't reach out, they are more courageous than I am. I need real time people support as does my husband. And I found my family and friends do not understand.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry that this situation is giving you so much anxiety. I hope you do reach out for support. Do you go to a place if worship? I find that to be very helpful too. For me (not everyone) God is my strength and truth. My church family is very supportive as well.</p><p></p><p>I wish you only the very best and send prayers, love and hugs. Please update us.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 755977, member: 23706"] Hi. I am really sorry that you are so worried, due to what you have seen before. My own viewpoint is just mine and not worth much, but it is also due to my experiences with my difficult daughter. Don't we all give advice that is a little of our own experience? Anyhow I would not speak my fears for many reasons. One is that you may sound as if you don't believe he can be successful and each day is a brand new start. He may be at a point where he can do it. Another reason is because this is his life and decision, not yours. If he relapses he does. Yes, it is hard on us, but you have the choice of not listening to him if he relapses and refusing to enable him with money. It only becomes your problem if you allow it to be. I used to let her problems be mine. I stopped. So has my husband. She didn't listen to us anyway and the money we gave her made her lazy and entitled. We gave her everything and she.blew it all. Do you see a therapist or go to Al Anon? I found both extremely helpful. This is such a hard path and I truly don't know how parents can do this without outside support. If anyone, even shy people, don't reach out, they are more courageous than I am. I need real time people support as does my husband. And I found my family and friends do not understand. I am sorry that this situation is giving you so much anxiety. I hope you do reach out for support. Do you go to a place if worship? I find that to be very helpful too. For me (not everyone) God is my strength and truth. My church family is very supportive as well. I wish you only the very best and send prayers, love and hugs. Please update us. [/QUOTE]
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