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Need Serious Support - esp from parents of bi-polar kids
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<blockquote data-quote="dashcat" data-source="post: 586545" data-attributes="member: 9175"><p>Thanks for all the support. I actually did sleep (the upside to having a yucky virus) and I'm as calm as can be expected. </p><p></p><p>Susie, she owns her car. It is in her name and it is paid for. Mr. Ossy has very odd standards and, though his response to "she's in Sandusky with a a total stranger" was to laugh (I am not kidding), and though he very dismissive of my rule about her being picked up here by strangers ...or my fears about her BEING with strangers OVERNIGHT, he will most likely make being insured a condition of her living there. Now this is fine with me, but I can't help but shake my head at his "standards".</p><p></p><p>I know him pretty well. And I am fairly certain that he has called her and that she will call him before she comes home. He will then come over for "the talk". These three way talks NEVER go well ... or at least they haven't in the past. His technique is to align himself with her. The most classic example was the time she had returned (or been returned) from her moving from Roanoke to North Carolina with a guy she'd never met in real life. Ossy fetched her from his brother's house in Roanoke and never once, during the eight hour drive, did he broach the subject of her having done this. Upon returning, he invited me to dinner so we could talk. Naturally, I think we are going to address her having left an $8,000 per semester college in the middle of the semester to run off with a dairy queen manager. No. His plan is to look at an excel spread sheet with a budget for her to plan to get an apartment (she has been back for two days. She does not even have a job). I bring up the unfortunate incident and he says .. in front of her "Well, we don't know that she wasn't using good judgement. We don't know what went on in their phone conversations. She might have known him very well." I kid you not.</p><p></p><p>One of his bonding rituals is to be the buddy, while clucking his tongue at my unreasonable expectations (who could EVER meet them? why do you suppose he sought refuge in a young blonde? who could blame him?). </p><p></p><p>The difference is that, in the past, I would be reduced to tears in a matter of seconds. I sought to prove how wrong they both were ...I certainly WAS reasonable. You can imagine how this played out.</p><p></p><p>Now? "It's ok if you don't agree with me. I have to set boundaries that help me to feel safe. I was very clear, when you moved in last year, that people you've met on the internet could not pick you up at home, nor could they come here when I was not home. You have violated that rule twice in a week's time. I cannot live with that".</p><p></p><p>Of course, what I truly wish for is for her to work on getting well and for her to be on medications. I just don't think she's ready to take that step.</p><p></p><p>I'll let you all know how it goes.</p><p>Dash</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="dashcat, post: 586545, member: 9175"] Thanks for all the support. I actually did sleep (the upside to having a yucky virus) and I'm as calm as can be expected. Susie, she owns her car. It is in her name and it is paid for. Mr. Ossy has very odd standards and, though his response to "she's in Sandusky with a a total stranger" was to laugh (I am not kidding), and though he very dismissive of my rule about her being picked up here by strangers ...or my fears about her BEING with strangers OVERNIGHT, he will most likely make being insured a condition of her living there. Now this is fine with me, but I can't help but shake my head at his "standards". I know him pretty well. And I am fairly certain that he has called her and that she will call him before she comes home. He will then come over for "the talk". These three way talks NEVER go well ... or at least they haven't in the past. His technique is to align himself with her. The most classic example was the time she had returned (or been returned) from her moving from Roanoke to North Carolina with a guy she'd never met in real life. Ossy fetched her from his brother's house in Roanoke and never once, during the eight hour drive, did he broach the subject of her having done this. Upon returning, he invited me to dinner so we could talk. Naturally, I think we are going to address her having left an $8,000 per semester college in the middle of the semester to run off with a dairy queen manager. No. His plan is to look at an excel spread sheet with a budget for her to plan to get an apartment (she has been back for two days. She does not even have a job). I bring up the unfortunate incident and he says .. in front of her "Well, we don't know that she wasn't using good judgement. We don't know what went on in their phone conversations. She might have known him very well." I kid you not. One of his bonding rituals is to be the buddy, while clucking his tongue at my unreasonable expectations (who could EVER meet them? why do you suppose he sought refuge in a young blonde? who could blame him?). The difference is that, in the past, I would be reduced to tears in a matter of seconds. I sought to prove how wrong they both were ...I certainly WAS reasonable. You can imagine how this played out. Now? "It's ok if you don't agree with me. I have to set boundaries that help me to feel safe. I was very clear, when you moved in last year, that people you've met on the internet could not pick you up at home, nor could they come here when I was not home. You have violated that rule twice in a week's time. I cannot live with that". Of course, what I truly wish for is for her to work on getting well and for her to be on medications. I just don't think she's ready to take that step. I'll let you all know how it goes. Dash [/QUOTE]
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