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<blockquote data-quote="Blindsided" data-source="post: 755609" data-attributes="member: 23811"><p>Oakie, I am 69, my Difficult Child daughter is 41. Her bio dad died from sudden cardiac arrest at age 55. My husband and I have been together for 39 years, so he has been her father figure. But, that doesnt stop her vile language toward us when she is plastered. We dont respond to her requests anymore. Someone said money only feeds their downward spiral. So true, and breaking the boundary is confusing to our Difficult Child. </p><p></p><p>I do best mentally when I focus on reason and common sense. I fight the urge to operate from emotions when communicating. It takes practice, but it works. </p><p></p><p>This excerpt from Radical Acceptamce really spoke to me and hope it helps you.</p><p></p><p>LEANING INTO FEAR</p><p></p><p>In a popular teaching story, a man being chased by a tiger leaps off a cliff in his attempt to get away. Fortunately, a tree growing on the side of the cliff breaks his fall. Dangling from it by one arm—tiger pacing above, jutting rocks hundreds of feet below—he yells out in desperation, “Help! Somebody help me!!” A voice responds, “Yes?” The man screams, “God, God, is that you?” Again, “Yes.” Terrified, the man says, “God, I’ll do anything, just please, please, help me.” God responds, “Okay then, just let go.” The man pauses for a moment, then calls out, “Is anyone else there?”</p><p></p><p>The author, Tara Brach, says to lean into our fear. Acknowledging my body sensations, tight knots, etc., helps me deal with reality and takes the focus off of the story in my head that brought me there. Then I let go. I actually say I am letting you go with love and entrusting you to the loving arms of our maker. I then feel myself relax. </p><p></p><p>Wishing you the best and encouraging strength you need during this pivotal time.</p><p></p><p>We deserve to get enjoyment from our golden years.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Blindsided, post: 755609, member: 23811"] Oakie, I am 69, my Difficult Child daughter is 41. Her bio dad died from sudden cardiac arrest at age 55. My husband and I have been together for 39 years, so he has been her father figure. But, that doesnt stop her vile language toward us when she is plastered. We dont respond to her requests anymore. Someone said money only feeds their downward spiral. So true, and breaking the boundary is confusing to our Difficult Child. I do best mentally when I focus on reason and common sense. I fight the urge to operate from emotions when communicating. It takes practice, but it works. This excerpt from Radical Acceptamce really spoke to me and hope it helps you. LEANING INTO FEAR In a popular teaching story, a man being chased by a tiger leaps off a cliff in his attempt to get away. Fortunately, a tree growing on the side of the cliff breaks his fall. Dangling from it by one arm—tiger pacing above, jutting rocks hundreds of feet below—he yells out in desperation, “Help! Somebody help me!!” A voice responds, “Yes?” The man screams, “God, God, is that you?” Again, “Yes.” Terrified, the man says, “God, I’ll do anything, just please, please, help me.” God responds, “Okay then, just let go.” The man pauses for a moment, then calls out, “Is anyone else there?” The author, Tara Brach, says to lean into our fear. Acknowledging my body sensations, tight knots, etc., helps me deal with reality and takes the focus off of the story in my head that brought me there. Then I let go. I actually say I am letting you go with love and entrusting you to the loving arms of our maker. I then feel myself relax. Wishing you the best and encouraging strength you need during this pivotal time. We deserve to get enjoyment from our golden years. [/QUOTE]
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