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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 755610" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi Okie,</p><p>So sorry for this latest chapter. 48? Ugh. My eldest will be 41 this fall. I have not seen or heard from her for a few months. Her choice is to live on the streets with a violent felon. She knows I won’t give her money or house her, so she doesn’t contact me. It’s not easy, but years of trying to rescue her was way harder. Recently my middle daughter went from jail to rehab. I bought her some necessities which turned into her calling for this and that, always something more. Then she ran.</p><p>My two choose to live an unconventional life and do drugs. It seems to me that they shun the idea of having a decent home, saving for retirement and all of the hard work and planning for the future that goes with that. But, when it comes to their “emergencies” who do they turn to?</p><p>Us, who are still working, or retired and living on limited income. Their parents, who in the case of my two, have berated, stolen from and blamed for the lifestyles they are choosing to live. Their parents, who have gone through heartache after heartache, watching their beloved adult child’s spiraling. I call it grieving the living. In my book, that’s harder than loosing someone in death. Death is final. This, is ongoing, grief reignited with each new macabre episode, phone call, or imagery of “what may be.” Grief that our own adult children would try to beguile us into becoming their prey, feeling entitled to our hard earned limited funds.</p><p>Sorry, I appear to be on a rant because truthfully, I like you and most of us are over it. Well, for today that is. Such is the way of dealing with the reality of our adult children drifting with the wind.</p><p>We can’t grieve forever over their choices.</p><p>Then we are not living our own lives.</p><p>I am glad you have plans to go on a road trip with hubs and live somewhere warm. You’re focus is in the right place. </p><p>At nearly 50, your son should be self sufficient. Maybe even <em>helping</em> his parents. Wouldn’t that be a switch.</p><p>Carry on sister soldier.</p><p>(((Hugs)))</p><p>Leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 755610, member: 19522"] Hi Okie, So sorry for this latest chapter. 48? Ugh. My eldest will be 41 this fall. I have not seen or heard from her for a few months. Her choice is to live on the streets with a violent felon. She knows I won’t give her money or house her, so she doesn’t contact me. It’s not easy, but years of trying to rescue her was way harder. Recently my middle daughter went from jail to rehab. I bought her some necessities which turned into her calling for this and that, always something more. Then she ran. My two choose to live an unconventional life and do drugs. It seems to me that they shun the idea of having a decent home, saving for retirement and all of the hard work and planning for the future that goes with that. But, when it comes to their “emergencies” who do they turn to? Us, who are still working, or retired and living on limited income. Their parents, who in the case of my two, have berated, stolen from and blamed for the lifestyles they are choosing to live. Their parents, who have gone through heartache after heartache, watching their beloved adult child’s spiraling. I call it grieving the living. In my book, that’s harder than loosing someone in death. Death is final. This, is ongoing, grief reignited with each new macabre episode, phone call, or imagery of “what may be.” Grief that our own adult children would try to beguile us into becoming their prey, feeling entitled to our hard earned limited funds. Sorry, I appear to be on a rant because truthfully, I like you and most of us are over it. Well, for today that is. Such is the way of dealing with the reality of our adult children drifting with the wind. We can’t grieve forever over their choices. Then we are not living our own lives. I am glad you have plans to go on a road trip with hubs and live somewhere warm. You’re focus is in the right place. At nearly 50, your son should be self sufficient. Maybe even [I]helping[/I] his parents. Wouldn’t that be a switch. Carry on sister soldier. (((Hugs))) Leafy [/QUOTE]
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