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Needing to stay strong, feeling like a horrible person. :(
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 749526" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>There are all kinds of abilities. I was born 3 months early. This has affected my nervous system, my ability to bear stress, and in subtle ways, my cognitive abilities and comprehension. My mother had the expectation that I work. I left home very early. There were times when I had nowhere to live. I went to a motel once. I slept on a couch some other times. I stayed in boarding houses. I stayed with friends several other times, paying rent there. I never slept in my car.</p><p></p><p>Never one time did I believe my mother had the obligation to house me. I was 12 years younger than your daughter. (There was one exception when I went home to live for one year during the time I was working full time and going to school, the year I was 20.)</p><p></p><p>That said, I believe we as parents have a role in supporting our kids <em>to help themselves. </em>You did that. Your daughter has not only gotten a full time job she has been promoted. She has demonstrated her ability to support herself.</p><p></p><p>There are weekly and monthly motels. There are apartments to share on Craigslist. In big cities there are rooming houses.</p><p></p><p>What is the result your daughter is seeking here? That you return? That you pay for her? I am not exactly clear. I understand she feels abandoned. Abandonment is a feeling as well as a reality. What is she doing to help herself deal with this feeling?</p><p></p><p>That said, many people do live in cars for extended period, including my son. I mean, for years and years. We live in a high-cost state where in coastal areas people literally cannot afford rents that are $4000 a month or more. Without drama, people live in cars. </p><p></p><p>Most of us are here because we have a hard time accepting how our grown children live.</p><p></p><p>I know we would not want this for your daughter, but she has to learn that she, not you, is responsible for living her life.</p><p></p><p>Good job, Mom.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 749526, member: 18958"] There are all kinds of abilities. I was born 3 months early. This has affected my nervous system, my ability to bear stress, and in subtle ways, my cognitive abilities and comprehension. My mother had the expectation that I work. I left home very early. There were times when I had nowhere to live. I went to a motel once. I slept on a couch some other times. I stayed in boarding houses. I stayed with friends several other times, paying rent there. I never slept in my car. Never one time did I believe my mother had the obligation to house me. I was 12 years younger than your daughter. (There was one exception when I went home to live for one year during the time I was working full time and going to school, the year I was 20.) That said, I believe we as parents have a role in supporting our kids [I]to help themselves. [/I]You did that. Your daughter has not only gotten a full time job she has been promoted. She has demonstrated her ability to support herself. There are weekly and monthly motels. There are apartments to share on Craigslist. In big cities there are rooming houses. What is the result your daughter is seeking here? That you return? That you pay for her? I am not exactly clear. I understand she feels abandoned. Abandonment is a feeling as well as a reality. What is she doing to help herself deal with this feeling? That said, many people do live in cars for extended period, including my son. I mean, for years and years. We live in a high-cost state where in coastal areas people literally cannot afford rents that are $4000 a month or more. Without drama, people live in cars. Most of us are here because we have a hard time accepting how our grown children live. I know we would not want this for your daughter, but she has to learn that she, not you, is responsible for living her life. Good job, Mom. [/QUOTE]
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Needing to stay strong, feeling like a horrible person. :(
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