New and in a crisis.

[BusynMember]

Well, Daisyface, I see the problem. However, is it worth risking exposure to this child in order to keep adopting other children that he may abuse? I can't answer that question for anyone else, but for me and my husband that would be a huge NO. They have children they need to protect. The other two may not be given to them no matter what decision they make. And in my opinion it is safer for those two to go to somebody who does not have a child molester in the house.

in my humble opinion it is best to do the right thing for the children who are already there and not to think, "I may not be able to adopt again." It's not about the parents. Again JMO.

I know parents who gladly took being charged with abandonment as opposed to picking up children who were a risk to their families. But I'm not sure a judge wouldn't overturn such a ruling, considering the circumstances.

 

[DaisyFace]

Well, Daisyface, I see the problem. However, is it worth risking exposure to this child in order to keep adopting other children that he may abuse? I can't answer that question for anyone else, but for me and my husband that would be a huge NO. They have children they need to protect. The other two may not be given to them no matter what decision they make. And in my opinion it is safer for those two to go to somebody who does not have a child molester in the house.

Oh, I'm not arguing with you at all...I agree that this child needs to be placed elsewhere for the good of the entire family.

But as you know from my experience, government services have become an impossible, byzantine maze designed to keep families mired in paperwork and red tape. The process to obtain services moves like molasses - but complaints and charges against the parents are swift.

I fear this is a lose-lose situation...

 

[BusynMember]

I agree with you. Even back when we had R. it was the same, but we just couldn't bring him home.

As for this child, nothing could be worse temptation for a child who perps on kids and kills animals than living with seven other children and a TON of animals he can kill, including a lot of kittens and chickens (also easy peasy to strangle). It would be for his sake too in my opinion to get him out of there.

Our system is very broken. We have to do what we feel is right and deal with the fallout...and fight for our families. That often means taking hard stances.

 

[buddy]

Oh, I'm not arguing with you at all...I agree that this child needs to be placed elsewhere for the good of the entire family.

But as you know from my experience, government services have become an impossible, byzantine maze designed to keep families mired in paperwork and red tape. The process to obtain services moves like molasses - but complaints and charges against the parents are swift.

I fear this is a lose-lose situation...

My fear too.... just so sad that out of great intentions, this can happen to families.

 

[ksm]

I haven't had time to read all the posts... but has anyone suggested seeing a lawyer. It would probably take much calling around, but I think if I was in this position, I would want good legal advice, concerning not only the child who has the problems, but how it might affect the rest of the children in the family. If a child is adopted from foster care in this state (I live in KS) - it is my understanding that they keep their medical card and usually some type of monthly funds for the child. I would be contacting the lawyer first, and then contacting all the agencies involved in the adoption.

Good luck. I am so sorry you are in this difficult position. KSM

 

[Liahona]

Tonya,
I hope you are still here and that we haven't scared you off. Some of us have had children hurt other children and your post has hit a nerve. We are just trying to help and know that you really need help now. You must be going through hell emotionally.