New here. Thank goodness I've found a place where people understand.

[eyes2thesky]

Thank you so much for your reply. There is so much more I could type to give background, but the theme of all these stories are what they are.

In many ways, I think he is a lot of talk. He doesn't 'really' want to go to jail, and he knows that. I know that. He's never been violent towards me personally- I know that I've long said he would lie to Jesus. That boy has lied all his life- and yes, his biological father is a major manipulator and liar. I guess I wanted to believe nurture vs nature.

His other 'tool' is to threaten suicide. that's what got him in an inpatient facility in the 10th grade. I'm constantly terrified he'll do it.

I realize, with all the reading I've done here and research online just in the last few days- I 'cover' for him to 'keep him happy'. I mean, when I insist on my 'logical' side thinking about this- I am disgusted. and embarrassed. and just overall sad. /sigh.

Everything I am reading I can relate too also !! Nurture instead of nature is not reality. My son is soooo similar to his biological father also. Know it all, liar and laziness. I always wanted to think he'd be like me. But reality is he's like his father down to facial expressions. It hurts me so to think that but it's true. He's never even gotten to know him. His biological father still lives with his mother. I refuse to be that. It is out of my control.

 

[in a daze]

I feel like a bad parent. I tried to raise him with good morals and direction. We tried to get him to go to counseling and didn't get far with that.

Sounds familiar. You probably did the best you could with what you had. Many of us on here have tried , special schools, wilderness programs, umpteen psychiatrists and therapists, a stable, loving home with structure, etc.

A therapist of your own, a support group such as Families Anonymous or Alanon, and the wise women on this message board can help you navigate this.