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<blockquote data-quote="Gma2MH" data-source="post: 747295" data-attributes="member: 23681"><p>Thanks for your response and yes, our daughter is extremely hateful to us when we don’t do what she wants and bad mouths us and the whole bit. Before she had kids I was much better at detaching from her and the situation. </p><p></p><p>The g-kids came along and now she thinks I have ‘sucker’ tattooed on my forehead and to a certain extent I have proven her right. With all of our kids grown and gone and many of our bills paid off we have a bit more to spend as we please. While I don’t share our financial information with her, she is by no means stupid and is very observant while pretending not to be. We’ve spent some on our g-kids and instead of just saying thank you she finds ways to use it against us. </p><p></p><p>Every interaction with her seems to come with some underlying agenda. It would come as no surprise to anyone she attempts to punish us by not letting us see the g-kids and enjoys coming up with infractions, so to speak, to use as reasons why we are ruining any relationship we could have with the little ones. For instance, the youngest g-kid recently had their first birthday and because I didn’t call him to wish him a happy birthday, we were 86’d from his b-day party which is taking place as I type. She moved the location to ensure we wouldn’t show up uninvited, which is something we’d never be inclined to do, and never have done, as it is too much drama.</p><p></p><p>I am certain she will use our absence to bad mouth us to her in-laws as so far they seem pretty fooled by her. </p><p></p><p>I used to try to explain things to her (in this case, one year olds don’t use the telephone so you’re overreacting) but I don’t do or say anything anymore. I don’t argue with her nor give her any emotional reaction she might be looking for. Yet she persists. </p><p></p><p>If it weren’t for the g-kids my inclination would be to just walk away. However, as my own mother has mentioned, the reality may be that we will never be allowed a consistent relationship with their kids. Totally within her rights but it would be hugely disappointing for us. </p><p></p><p>The upside to all this is since all of our kids have moved out, our marriage is better than it’s ever been. We don’t focus on our kids but there are days where that’s more difficult to do than others.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gma2MH, post: 747295, member: 23681"] Thanks for your response and yes, our daughter is extremely hateful to us when we don’t do what she wants and bad mouths us and the whole bit. Before she had kids I was much better at detaching from her and the situation. The g-kids came along and now she thinks I have ‘sucker’ tattooed on my forehead and to a certain extent I have proven her right. With all of our kids grown and gone and many of our bills paid off we have a bit more to spend as we please. While I don’t share our financial information with her, she is by no means stupid and is very observant while pretending not to be. We’ve spent some on our g-kids and instead of just saying thank you she finds ways to use it against us. Every interaction with her seems to come with some underlying agenda. It would come as no surprise to anyone she attempts to punish us by not letting us see the g-kids and enjoys coming up with infractions, so to speak, to use as reasons why we are ruining any relationship we could have with the little ones. For instance, the youngest g-kid recently had their first birthday and because I didn’t call him to wish him a happy birthday, we were 86’d from his b-day party which is taking place as I type. She moved the location to ensure we wouldn’t show up uninvited, which is something we’d never be inclined to do, and never have done, as it is too much drama. I am certain she will use our absence to bad mouth us to her in-laws as so far they seem pretty fooled by her. I used to try to explain things to her (in this case, one year olds don’t use the telephone so you’re overreacting) but I don’t do or say anything anymore. I don’t argue with her nor give her any emotional reaction she might be looking for. Yet she persists. If it weren’t for the g-kids my inclination would be to just walk away. However, as my own mother has mentioned, the reality may be that we will never be allowed a consistent relationship with their kids. Totally within her rights but it would be hugely disappointing for us. The upside to all this is since all of our kids have moved out, our marriage is better than it’s ever been. We don’t focus on our kids but there are days where that’s more difficult to do than others. [/QUOTE]
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