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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 747297" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>I have a hard enough time, just being a parent. I would be tortured as a grandmother. Not only would I worry about the children, I would want them with me as much as possible, and be vulnerable to all kinds of pressure and manipulation to keep them close.</p><p></p><p>My son is not mean. I think he would be a loving and caring father, and he would not withhold the kids. But he is nowhere near parenthood, if ever.</p><p></p><p>But so many of the parents here deal with adult children who subject their kids to all manner of things, and use their kids as pawns. It all boils down for them to a choice. Do I protect myself or do I decide to bear exposure to my adult child's manipulation and abuse, to protect the kids and to be with them. The thing with that is the grandparents are forever vulnerable to having the rug pulled out from their heart, so to speak. My own mother had to deal with this with my sister and her kids. My sister would withhold the kids, whenever she was mad at my mother. My mother was so upset and hurt for many, many years. </p><p></p><p>The thing to know is that you are not alone. This is a problem that so many people deal with. It does not make it easier, but it may help you to understand and to accept that it is not you, and it is not your fault.</p><p></p><p>I just now read your response to seeking, and see that unfortunately you are already dealing with this hard reality. I am sorry.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 747297, member: 18958"] I have a hard enough time, just being a parent. I would be tortured as a grandmother. Not only would I worry about the children, I would want them with me as much as possible, and be vulnerable to all kinds of pressure and manipulation to keep them close. My son is not mean. I think he would be a loving and caring father, and he would not withhold the kids. But he is nowhere near parenthood, if ever. But so many of the parents here deal with adult children who subject their kids to all manner of things, and use their kids as pawns. It all boils down for them to a choice. Do I protect myself or do I decide to bear exposure to my adult child's manipulation and abuse, to protect the kids and to be with them. The thing with that is the grandparents are forever vulnerable to having the rug pulled out from their heart, so to speak. My own mother had to deal with this with my sister and her kids. My sister would withhold the kids, whenever she was mad at my mother. My mother was so upset and hurt for many, many years. The thing to know is that you are not alone. This is a problem that so many people deal with. It does not make it easier, but it may help you to understand and to accept that it is not you, and it is not your fault. I just now read your response to seeking, and see that unfortunately you are already dealing with this hard reality. I am sorry. [/QUOTE]
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