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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 747301" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>Your daughter may have built-in and rigid personality traits that skew her thinking and behavior. Some people have this to the degree that their behavior is seriously problematic for others and for themselves. Some negative characteristics can be highly advantageous in certain circumstances. For example, narcissism is very common among presidents. And most successful academics have obsessive-compulsive traits.</p><p></p><p>When we have these traits, we are usually unaware of them. Which makes it hard to correct something that we cannot see. We perceive instead that the problems are in others. That they are the ones who need to change. Not us. (For example, I think that my issues with my sister are because SHE has personality problems....lol.)</p><p></p><p>If you were to approach your daughter from this stance, that she may have personality issues of which she is unaware, that cause problems for her, and for others, you may begin to see that while her behavior affects you, it has nothing to do with you. She does this cookie cutter stuff over and over again because she has a mindset that sees the world this way. And when her behavior causes problems for others and herself, she blames others, not herself. She would treat ANY mother this way. It is not that you deserve it, or caused it. And as you know, you certainly cannot cure it. She has little or no insight, because she cannot see herself.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 747301, member: 18958"] Your daughter may have built-in and rigid personality traits that skew her thinking and behavior. Some people have this to the degree that their behavior is seriously problematic for others and for themselves. Some negative characteristics can be highly advantageous in certain circumstances. For example, narcissism is very common among presidents. And most successful academics have obsessive-compulsive traits. When we have these traits, we are usually unaware of them. Which makes it hard to correct something that we cannot see. We perceive instead that the problems are in others. That they are the ones who need to change. Not us. (For example, I think that my issues with my sister are because SHE has personality problems....lol.) If you were to approach your daughter from this stance, that she may have personality issues of which she is unaware, that cause problems for her, and for others, you may begin to see that while her behavior affects you, it has nothing to do with you. She does this cookie cutter stuff over and over again because she has a mindset that sees the world this way. And when her behavior causes problems for others and herself, she blames others, not herself. She would treat ANY mother this way. It is not that you deserve it, or caused it. And as you know, you certainly cannot cure it. She has little or no insight, because she cannot see herself. [/QUOTE]
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