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<blockquote data-quote="Gma2MH" data-source="post: 747311" data-attributes="member: 23681"><p>I am determined this time that I’m not going to return to the same cycle with my daughter when and if she comes back around. She will try but I can’t do this with her anymore. </p><p></p><p>During this last stunt she pulled I didn’t allow myself to argue with her. In the past there were many times I would give as good as I got from her and the arguments would get ugly. It’s not worth the time or the elevated blood pressure and clearly arguing has never solved anything. I’ve been able to disengage from her chaos in the past and I know that’s what I need to do now. </p><p></p><p>I also have to accept the fact there’s a very good chance she will use our grandkids against us. I will be very disappointed if she does but they’re her kids and she can do as she pleases with them. As it is she already makes it difficult for us to see the kids and that’s pretty easy for her to do living a couple hours away. There’s always a plausible or plausible sounding excuse when you have a houseful of kids and all their extracurricular activities. </p><p></p><p>Thankfully the weather is turning nice(r) and both my husband and I have plenty of hobbies to keep us busy, in addition to working full-time. </p><p></p><p>The biggest thing for me maintaining my boundaries with her, and for that matter our two sons who are also disruptive on occasion, is flat out remembering to not get sucked in by the pity party money requests and the continual disasters our daughter generates. I can’t operate on auto pilot anymore.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Gma2MH, post: 747311, member: 23681"] I am determined this time that I’m not going to return to the same cycle with my daughter when and if she comes back around. She will try but I can’t do this with her anymore. During this last stunt she pulled I didn’t allow myself to argue with her. In the past there were many times I would give as good as I got from her and the arguments would get ugly. It’s not worth the time or the elevated blood pressure and clearly arguing has never solved anything. I’ve been able to disengage from her chaos in the past and I know that’s what I need to do now. I also have to accept the fact there’s a very good chance she will use our grandkids against us. I will be very disappointed if she does but they’re her kids and she can do as she pleases with them. As it is she already makes it difficult for us to see the kids and that’s pretty easy for her to do living a couple hours away. There’s always a plausible or plausible sounding excuse when you have a houseful of kids and all their extracurricular activities. Thankfully the weather is turning nice(r) and both my husband and I have plenty of hobbies to keep us busy, in addition to working full-time. The biggest thing for me maintaining my boundaries with her, and for that matter our two sons who are also disruptive on occasion, is flat out remembering to not get sucked in by the pity party money requests and the continual disasters our daughter generates. I can’t operate on auto pilot anymore. [/QUOTE]
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