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New member - daughter
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 739915" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I think just let it be. Getting defensive just makes people stick to the lies in their head. You wont convince your daughter of the truth by defending the truth. I know it sounds crazy but I have had experience with this and while all situations are different it is hard to get the bully/bullies to back down. Maybe pretend she never attacked you and move on or try. It sounds as if daughter is a full compliant member of this little band of liars and bullies. She is an adult and chose to go along with them but was perfectly fine being nice to you you when you were doing what she wanted. This is a sign to be careful of her. She can use and manipulate then turn on you.</p><p></p><p>This is always hard for us, but she is bullying and abusing you and its not on his family. It is her. She is an adult and is being really mean. I dont know her history but she is gaslighting you now....telling you that her real life with you, the way it was, didnt happen. That is an abusive trait. I would call her once a week and be nice and avoid this topic. I would not send her money or exspensuve gifts that drain your retirement. They will not be appreciated and wont change anything. You need to put yourself first.</p><p></p><p>There are no magic words to change her mangled words and behavior. Perhaps therapy would help you. Also living your best life for YOU is great. Hang out with loved ones who appreciate your kindness. Make new friends. Join classes or volunteer or start new hobbies. Go on a second honeymoon with your husband! Baby yourself. You cant control anyone but yourself so give yourself love and fun.</p><p></p><p>I wish you the best. Love and ligjt!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 739915, member: 1550"] I think just let it be. Getting defensive just makes people stick to the lies in their head. You wont convince your daughter of the truth by defending the truth. I know it sounds crazy but I have had experience with this and while all situations are different it is hard to get the bully/bullies to back down. Maybe pretend she never attacked you and move on or try. It sounds as if daughter is a full compliant member of this little band of liars and bullies. She is an adult and chose to go along with them but was perfectly fine being nice to you you when you were doing what she wanted. This is a sign to be careful of her. She can use and manipulate then turn on you. This is always hard for us, but she is bullying and abusing you and its not on his family. It is her. She is an adult and is being really mean. I dont know her history but she is gaslighting you now....telling you that her real life with you, the way it was, didnt happen. That is an abusive trait. I would call her once a week and be nice and avoid this topic. I would not send her money or exspensuve gifts that drain your retirement. They will not be appreciated and wont change anything. You need to put yourself first. There are no magic words to change her mangled words and behavior. Perhaps therapy would help you. Also living your best life for YOU is great. Hang out with loved ones who appreciate your kindness. Make new friends. Join classes or volunteer or start new hobbies. Go on a second honeymoon with your husband! Baby yourself. You cant control anyone but yourself so give yourself love and fun. I wish you the best. Love and ligjt! [/QUOTE]
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