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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 745974" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>Laura, I'm so sorry you're still in the middle of this drama. I know how much you wanted to believe that he would find his way if he came home. I find this kind of let down excruciating. When they are off track and I know they are off track, I can manage my expectations and stay centered. But when I have reason to hope for real change, and have those hopes dashed...that's hard. </p><p></p><p>You sound strong and centered, though. You sound like you know what you need. Regardless of whether he stays in Florida or heads back to Chicago, it will be a lot less stressful if he isn't continually in your space. You have a right to a place of peace and sanctuary, and it can't be that if he's always bringing his drama home to you. I think you are right to withdraw from it and begin the process of detachment. </p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I've been deep in the available research on MJ recently for professional reasons, and I really think it isn't nearly as benign as many of our kids want to believe. Or at least not for all of them. Overall, it is less destructive than alcohol, so I'll give them that. But we all know that alcohol is a huge problem for many people, even though most people are perfectly fine with moderate drinking. MJ may be an occasional fun relaxation for a lot of people, but consistent and long term use is another story. And it appears that the effects are highly related to individual genetics and brain chemistry. Some research suggests that it can bring out latent mental illness, including schizophrenia, in people who are predisposed - people who may otherwise have never developed symptoms. From my reading and observations with my kids, I really believe that long term heavy use in people already predisposed to mental illness is very, very dangerous. C firmly believes that his pot use is "medicinal" - he thinks it helps him control his anxiety. While that might be true for the hour or two that the effect lasts, what I see over time is MORE anxiety, more depression, growing paranoia, worrisome thinking patterns bordering on delusions, a loss of logical thinking ability, a loss of ambition, and a decreased ability to follow through on plans. Reduced executive function, overall. Can I link these definitively to the MJ use? No, C is not a scientific experiment. But combined with some of my reading, the patterns I am seeing really worry me. I'm not a "reefer madness" mom, and I support legalization for at least medicinal use and probably decriminalization for recreational users. My sister uses it to control seizures, and I wish it was legal where we are for her sake. But with my kids, I see what I see, and what I see is that pot is a real problem in their lives, independent of other drug use.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 745974, member: 23349"] Laura, I'm so sorry you're still in the middle of this drama. I know how much you wanted to believe that he would find his way if he came home. I find this kind of let down excruciating. When they are off track and I know they are off track, I can manage my expectations and stay centered. But when I have reason to hope for real change, and have those hopes dashed...that's hard. You sound strong and centered, though. You sound like you know what you need. Regardless of whether he stays in Florida or heads back to Chicago, it will be a lot less stressful if he isn't continually in your space. You have a right to a place of peace and sanctuary, and it can't be that if he's always bringing his drama home to you. I think you are right to withdraw from it and begin the process of detachment. I've been deep in the available research on MJ recently for professional reasons, and I really think it isn't nearly as benign as many of our kids want to believe. Or at least not for all of them. Overall, it is less destructive than alcohol, so I'll give them that. But we all know that alcohol is a huge problem for many people, even though most people are perfectly fine with moderate drinking. MJ may be an occasional fun relaxation for a lot of people, but consistent and long term use is another story. And it appears that the effects are highly related to individual genetics and brain chemistry. Some research suggests that it can bring out latent mental illness, including schizophrenia, in people who are predisposed - people who may otherwise have never developed symptoms. From my reading and observations with my kids, I really believe that long term heavy use in people already predisposed to mental illness is very, very dangerous. C firmly believes that his pot use is "medicinal" - he thinks it helps him control his anxiety. While that might be true for the hour or two that the effect lasts, what I see over time is MORE anxiety, more depression, growing paranoia, worrisome thinking patterns bordering on delusions, a loss of logical thinking ability, a loss of ambition, and a decreased ability to follow through on plans. Reduced executive function, overall. Can I link these definitively to the MJ use? No, C is not a scientific experiment. But combined with some of my reading, the patterns I am seeing really worry me. I'm not a "reefer madness" mom, and I support legalization for at least medicinal use and probably decriminalization for recreational users. My sister uses it to control seizures, and I wish it was legal where we are for her sake. But with my kids, I see what I see, and what I see is that pot is a real problem in their lives, independent of other drug use. [/QUOTE]
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