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Substance Abuse
Nothing's gottten easier
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<blockquote data-quote="Smithmom" data-source="post: 741501" data-attributes="member: 23371"><p>I can promise you that it does get easier. When mine was a teen I didn't see it ever getting better. I saw no positive outcome. Mine is 29 now. He's alive. That alone is something I was never sure would be. I take pleasure in that alone. So many of his friends are dead. He's in prison for a many years. Not for violence. For selling drugs to fellow addicts at street level. A crime for sure. But a product of his addiction.</p><p></p><p>No one can tell you what could have been, what if... But I can tell you that I gave up everything for my son, my career, my health, my family life with his sibs. I hunted down every treatment, dr, program, school, etc. He was in over 30 residential programs of one kind or another over the years. So that alone would mean at least 30 psychiatrists. Did any of that change the outcome? I don't know, no one could ever say what might have been. All I'm saying is that there's no answers. But you can't beat yourself up about the past. You can't focus on what you can't change.</p><p></p><p>What you can do is get help now. He may refuse to cooperate. Plow on. Primarily keep him safe from himself. If it means prison then let it happen. At least he's not escalating the violence and drugs. If he's willing to cooperate find every form of help you can. Don't give him any free time to find trouble. If you can get him into a residential program do it. The more treatment you can find the better. There's plenty of parents here who can give you advice on getting him help.</p><p></p><p>But re-focus, i understand grieving for the child he was, the hopes and dreams you had for him. Do that. But then move on to the child you have now who needs help today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Smithmom, post: 741501, member: 23371"] I can promise you that it does get easier. When mine was a teen I didn't see it ever getting better. I saw no positive outcome. Mine is 29 now. He's alive. That alone is something I was never sure would be. I take pleasure in that alone. So many of his friends are dead. He's in prison for a many years. Not for violence. For selling drugs to fellow addicts at street level. A crime for sure. But a product of his addiction. No one can tell you what could have been, what if... But I can tell you that I gave up everything for my son, my career, my health, my family life with his sibs. I hunted down every treatment, dr, program, school, etc. He was in over 30 residential programs of one kind or another over the years. So that alone would mean at least 30 psychiatrists. Did any of that change the outcome? I don't know, no one could ever say what might have been. All I'm saying is that there's no answers. But you can't beat yourself up about the past. You can't focus on what you can't change. What you can do is get help now. He may refuse to cooperate. Plow on. Primarily keep him safe from himself. If it means prison then let it happen. At least he's not escalating the violence and drugs. If he's willing to cooperate find every form of help you can. Don't give him any free time to find trouble. If you can get him into a residential program do it. The more treatment you can find the better. There's plenty of parents here who can give you advice on getting him help. But re-focus, i understand grieving for the child he was, the hopes and dreams you had for him. Do that. But then move on to the child you have now who needs help today. [/QUOTE]
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