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Nowhere to turn 19 year old daughter out of control
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<blockquote data-quote="Smithmom" data-source="post: 743710" data-attributes="member: 23371"><p>Welcome. Where did the anti social personality disorder diagnosis come from? Its a diagnosis no one wants to hear and I'm of the opinion that it doesn't help much. By which I mean that there's no treatment known to work. Its also not usually a credible diagnosis unless its from a psychiatrist she's been seeing for a very long time eg 2 years. Also she's young for that diagnosis. So my suggestion would be to ignore that diagnosis and move on to address the behaviors that are a problem. </p><p></p><p>There are no right or wrong answers in terms of what to do or when. The best advice is going to come from a therapist, someone who works with all of you in person. So first thing I'd do is get a family therapist. While the child may have poor behavior its affecting the whole family. The first step in therapy is to quantify the problem behaviors. Then figure out which one or two will be addressed first. The family then agrees to a plan. There are rewards and consequences to all in the plan. </p><p></p><p>Everyone is invited to family therapy and everyone must go. If she refuses then the rest go. Typically you'll come home with a plan and tell her about it. If she wants to change it she has to go to therapy. </p><p></p><p>I would suggest that you try to think creatively about each issue. Eg she's not a morning person look for a night job for her. Look for a place open 24/7 like a hospital. </p><p></p><p>Whoever owns the house has the right to decide who lives there. After 18 she can legally be thrown out. But most parents want to try to set up a place for the child to go before doing that.</p><p></p><p>I'll add another thought which is that your partner needs to be taking action, not you. Obviously you don't like to see her upset and unhappy and want to help. But this is between her and her child. You need to be supportive. But the direction this takes needs to come from her.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Smithmom, post: 743710, member: 23371"] Welcome. Where did the anti social personality disorder diagnosis come from? Its a diagnosis no one wants to hear and I'm of the opinion that it doesn't help much. By which I mean that there's no treatment known to work. Its also not usually a credible diagnosis unless its from a psychiatrist she's been seeing for a very long time eg 2 years. Also she's young for that diagnosis. So my suggestion would be to ignore that diagnosis and move on to address the behaviors that are a problem. There are no right or wrong answers in terms of what to do or when. The best advice is going to come from a therapist, someone who works with all of you in person. So first thing I'd do is get a family therapist. While the child may have poor behavior its affecting the whole family. The first step in therapy is to quantify the problem behaviors. Then figure out which one or two will be addressed first. The family then agrees to a plan. There are rewards and consequences to all in the plan. Everyone is invited to family therapy and everyone must go. If she refuses then the rest go. Typically you'll come home with a plan and tell her about it. If she wants to change it she has to go to therapy. I would suggest that you try to think creatively about each issue. Eg she's not a morning person look for a night job for her. Look for a place open 24/7 like a hospital. Whoever owns the house has the right to decide who lives there. After 18 she can legally be thrown out. But most parents want to try to set up a place for the child to go before doing that. I'll add another thought which is that your partner needs to be taking action, not you. Obviously you don't like to see her upset and unhappy and want to help. But this is between her and her child. You need to be supportive. But the direction this takes needs to come from her. [/QUOTE]
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Nowhere to turn 19 year old daughter out of control
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