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Substance Abuse
on the edge
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<blockquote data-quote="Elsi" data-source="post: 740627" data-attributes="member: 23349"><p>It is hard. I’m so sorry.</p><p></p><p>Why doesn’t he want to tell his counselor about the depression and self harm? Is he afraid he’ll get put in a ward or something? (He won’t, if it’s just depression and cutting without an active plan for carrying out more serious self harm.) I would encourage him be honest. Counseling doesn’t work if you can’t be honest with your counselor (and yourself). I would assure him that his counselor has heard these kinds of things before, that he’s not alone and not a freak, but the only way to get past these things in counseling is to talk through them honestly. I know that’s hard.</p><p></p><p>I think stepping back is good advice but I also think it’s ok to ask occasionally ‘so, hows it going?’ Or ‘how did that work out for you?’ As long as you’re prepared that he may not want to answer, or he may have an answer you don’t want to hear. If you’re not at a point where you can do that and not get more involved with advising and judging and taking an active role in his decisions, it probably is better to stay out entirely.</p><p></p><p>I think it’s great he FaceTimed you after. Did you get the sense that it went well then?</p><p></p><p>It’s a tough balance to find. Sending you hugs this morning.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Elsi, post: 740627, member: 23349"] It is hard. I’m so sorry. Why doesn’t he want to tell his counselor about the depression and self harm? Is he afraid he’ll get put in a ward or something? (He won’t, if it’s just depression and cutting without an active plan for carrying out more serious self harm.) I would encourage him be honest. Counseling doesn’t work if you can’t be honest with your counselor (and yourself). I would assure him that his counselor has heard these kinds of things before, that he’s not alone and not a freak, but the only way to get past these things in counseling is to talk through them honestly. I know that’s hard. I think stepping back is good advice but I also think it’s ok to ask occasionally ‘so, hows it going?’ Or ‘how did that work out for you?’ As long as you’re prepared that he may not want to answer, or he may have an answer you don’t want to hear. If you’re not at a point where you can do that and not get more involved with advising and judging and taking an active role in his decisions, it probably is better to stay out entirely. I think it’s great he FaceTimed you after. Did you get the sense that it went well then? It’s a tough balance to find. Sending you hugs this morning. [/QUOTE]
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